A THOUSAND WORDS - Alex Waterhouse-Hayward's blog on pictures, plants, politics and whatever else is on his mind.




 

Bless My Two Daughters & My Two Cats, Too
Friday, March 08, 2024


 

 With my Rosemary gone on December 8, 2020, my constant grief is ameliorated by three females and a male. My cats Niño and Niña are two of them. The other two are my daughters Alexandra and Hilary.

The former, Alexandra keeps me up-to-date on my banking as I am not swift as Rosemary was with financial matters. With an ever-smiling Hilary we go to see fine films every week and a half. Just a few days ago she came to my rescue.

With Rosemary we had for 20 years a daily breakfast in bed. I have kept the custom and while I read my NYTimes and Vancouver Sun I have the company of my two orange and white cats. I always drink a large mug of very strong tea. 

A few days ago I dropped the tray and broke the cat mug I drink my tea from. It is the third made-in-England mug I break. It had the image that was an almost exact likeness to Rosemary’s beloved cat Casi-Casi who died when we moved to our present Kits home.

The last mug I found at a store in Prince Edward Island. I came to the conclusion that as I get older (I am 81) I need not be attached to the many objects and stuff in my house. I told myself to buy a large clear glass beer mug at my nearby Dollar Store and not worry ever again or experience the grief of the loss of a valued object.

I told Hilary.

She ordered a new mug from the store in Prince Edward Island and told me that I should keep it downstairs and use it only at the table with guests. For my daily breakfast she suggested I buy that clear glass beer mug. And this I did. Bless my daughters (and my cats, too).




Rosemary's Corsican Hellebore & Napoleon
Thursday, March 07, 2024

Helleborus argutifolius - 7 March 2024

No day happens since my Rosemary died on December 8 2020 that I do not think of her or I am reminded of her.

With the garden giving me indication that it is about to wake up for spring I see her on her knees cleaning it all up. Important, too, I notice some of her plants from a few years ago that I had forgotten about and somehow did not make it. 

Helleborus argutifolius & Helleborus x nigercors 'Honeyhill Joy' 7 March 2024

 

In our Kerrisdale garden we had plants that simply could not move to our smaller garden. But there was on plant that Rosemary adored that she simply called the Corsican Hellebore (Helleborus argutifolius). Rosemary did not like bright coloured flowers. She appreciated the light, yellow/green/white sober tones of this hellebore. When that plant came to my memory one evening in bed I knew what I had to do. I went to Phoenix Perennials in Richmond. They stock the best variety of hellebores in the Lower Mainland. When I arrived, I asked to pleasant women who were surrounded by hundreds of hellebores, if they had any Corsicans. They pointed at some. I then noticed some more elaborate versions which happened to be of sport of a different species called Helleborus x nigercors  ‘Honeyhill Joy’. I bought it, too.

I like going to Phoenix Perennials, owner Gary  Lewis is friendly and (important) has lots of botanical knowledge. They have lots of new hosta cultivars (perhaps in a month ) and small, not aggressive clematis. Rosemary and I discovered that for our many roses in large pots on our deck, these smaller clematis worked nicely with roses and did not compete for nutrients.

As for these hellebores in their pots I look at them and it is no different from looking at my smiling Rosemary.

I will plant them, and in my head, St. Luke’s citation from the gospel, “Do this in remembrance of me,"  will there.

Napoleon and Corsican hellebores came from the same island.

Phoenix Perennials 3380 No. 6 Road, Richmond, BC  604 - 270-4133

Web Page

 

 

 


 




Hollywood Deathbed Scenes - Not
Wednesday, March 06, 2024

Rosemary minutes after she died


 

In my two years of studying philosophy in Mexico City in 1962 under Ramón Xirau, it meant and means that my thoughts about death are always there and particularly because of my many years of living in Mexico. I can quote Epicurus.

Three years after the death of my wife Rosemary on December 8, 2020, I constantly remember her and note her absent presence all day, every day, at home, in our car, in the garden, and all the places we went together in Vancouver.

I give no importance if anybody cares about my usual subject in my blogs about how I miss Rosemary. What is important is that my constant thought, while a sad one, helps me figure out death and my forthcoming one. And yet it is impossible for me to grasp how someone alive with me for 52 years is not around, not present, not alive, not there. My peripheral vision notes the empty spot on the bed where she always was.

Last night the thought on the different kinds of death came to me when my lights were out.

You can die instantly in an accident, or you can have a heart attack in your sleep. What is death to a soldier in battle not knowing if he will die that day? What is death to someone alive who has been given a couple of months to live?

My Rosemary was told she was going to die. She sent a lovely message to our eldest granddaughter telling her she had little time and wanted to have some moments with her. She even asked her when it would be convenient for her.

And lastly what is it like when you feel and understand, while in bed, that you are going to die that day, that hour and even in those minutes?

I had the experience of being witness to that twice. My mother was a hypochondriac, even though she had plenty of reasons for feeling sick.  She had Meniere’s Disease.  In our family we called her Sarah Bernhardt because of her constant telling us how sick she was.

There she was in her bed in Mexico City in 1972 in the presence of Rosemary. She told us “This time I am going to die.” Minutes later she breathed in and died. We could not find a doctor in the neighbourhood so a veterinarian declared her dead.

The second death I witnessed was that of Rosemary. My two daughters and our eldest granddaughter Rebecca were there by her bed. She asked, “Am I dying?” I could not answer and minutes later she was dead.

Can we ever know what it feels when you are about to die and you ask people around you if you are in fact dying?

In the middle of the night last night I Messengered my two daughters as to who closed Rosemary's eyes. My eldest daughter asked why I was asking. I told her I was going to write a blog about Hollywood beside death scenes. The nurse who was supposed to treat Rosemary arrived after Rosemary had died. According to my eldest daughter it was she who closed her eyes.

All the above is a reality that is as far removed from all those Hollywood films deathbed scenes.

And so I think about death every day. As my lymphoma-sick male cat Niño sticks to me like glue I wonder if he does not need to ask me if he is dying. He knows.

He and his sister Niña as they lie on me during the day and at night on the bed are direct live routes to my Rosemary. In the first few months after Rosemary died I would loudly say, “Rosemary.”  They would look up at me. Now, it would seem they have forgotten her. They are lucky. Am I?




Hands - Emily Dickinson - I, Braineater
Sunday, March 03, 2024

 


I felt my life with both my hands – Emily Dickinson

I felt my life with both my hands

To see if it was there –

I held my spirit to the Glass,

To prove it possibler –

 

I turned my Being round and round

And paused at every pound

To ask the Owner’s name –

For doubt, that I should know the sound –

 

I judged my features – jarred my hair –

I pushed my dimples by, and waited –

If they – twinkled back –

Conviction might, of me –

 

I told myself, “Take Courage, Friend –

That – was a former time –

But we might learn to like the Heaven,

As well as our Old Home”!

 

I will not argue who might be the best Canadian photographer still alive, but I can assert I am the best in the country with hands. It was my Rosemary who in the late 70s pointed out a little finger that was sticking out in portrait that I was going to take to the Vancouver Magazine, for art director Rick Staehling.  I pooh-poohed her opinion. Shockingly, Staehling noticed, so from that point on I always made sure I noticed hands and fingers in my portraits. It helped that I shot many ballet and modern dancers.

In my memory, I know a man who had and probably has the best hands I ever saw in a man. His name is Jim Cummins and he is still known as I, Braineater from his 70s and 80s punk days.

I came up with the idea of taking his portrait at his studio that happened to have a white wall (or was it a black one?). I made an 11x14 inch print and then asked Cummins to do his then trademark art work on it. The photograph ran in Vancouver Magazine.

When Staehling returned the print, I had it framed. It is up in my guest room. My only concern is that the photographic paper, Ilford Ilfospeed is not archival. I may in a near future have it scanned and printed in archival inkjet paper.

One of the pleasures of writing my blogs,6031 including this one, is finding poems that go with my photographs. I have used at least 100 poems by Emily Dickinson. This one is one more. But in a past blog I used another Dickinson poem on a hand. 

I TOOK power in my hand 

 

More Emily Dickinson

That clarifies the sight 

 Nature rarer uses yellow

Rosemary white and a bit of yellow 

Nature rarer uses yellow

Luck is not chance 

T is iris sir 

The white heat

I tried to be a rose 

nature rarer uses yellow 

The Tulip

Nor would I be a poet 

November left then clambered up
You cannot make remembrance grow
November
the maple wears a gayer scarf 

 A melancholy of a waning summer
Just as green and as white
It's full as opera
I cannot dance upon my Toes
a door just opened on the street 
Amber slips away
Sleep
When August burning low
Pink Small and punctual
A slash of blue
I cannot dance upon my toes
Ah little rose
For hold them, blue to blue
The colour of the grave is green
 Her Grace is not all she has  
To know if any human eyes were near
Linda Melsted - the music of the violin does not emerge alone
The Charm invests her face
A sepal, a petal and a thorn
The Savior must have been a docile Gentleman
T were blessed to have seen
There is no frigate like a book
I pay in satin cash
Emily Dickinson's White Dress & a Hunter of Lost Souls
El vestido blanco - The White Dress
Water makes many beds
 The viola da gamba
 But sequence ravelled out of reach
 A parasol is the umbrella's daughter
 Without the power to die
 Lessons on the piny
Ample make this bed
How happy is the little stone
 Sleep is supposed to be
The shutting of the eye
I dwell in possibility
when Sappho was a living girl
In a library
 A light exists in spring
The lady dare not lift her veil
 I took my power in my hand
 I find my feet have further goals
 I cannot dance upon my toes
The Music of the Violin does not emerge alone
Red Blaze 
He touched me, so I live to know
Rear Window- The Entering Takes Away
Said Death to Passion
 We Wear the Mask That Grins And Lies
It was not death for I stood alone
The Music in the Violin Does Not Emerge Alone
I tend my flowers for thee
Lavinia Norcross Dickinson
Pray gather me anemone! 
Ample make her bed
His caravan of red 
Me-come! My dazzled face  
Develops pearl and weed

But peers beyond her mesh
Surgeons must be very careful
Water is taught by thirst
I could not prove that years had feet
April played her fiddle
A violin in Baize replaced
I think the longest hour
The spirit lasts
http://blog.alexwaterhousehayward.com/2014/03/i-left-them-in-ground-emily-dickinson.html
http://blog.alexwaterhousehayward.com/2014/01/i-felt-my-life-with-both-my-hands.html
http://blog.alexwaterhousehayward.com/2011/03/currer-bell-emily-dickinson-charlotte.html

http://blog.alexwaterhousehayward.com/2011/03/and-zero-at-bone-with-dirks-of-melody.html
http://blog.alexwaterhousehayward.com/2011/05/charm-invests-her-face.html

http://blog.alexwaterhousehayward.com/2011/06/i-could-not-see-to-see.html 
http://blog.alexwaterhousehayward.com/2011/06/blonde-assasin-passes-on.html
http://blog.alexwaterhousehayward.com/2012/12/you-almost-bathed-your-tongue.html




     

Previous Posts
Who Shaves the Barber's Wife?

A Couple of Complicated Botanical Names

In Love in 1952

Time in My Hands

Abhorring a Vacuum

The Nuances of Time

My Rosemary - Juan Manuel Fangio

Ona Grauer Sandwiches Without Mayonnaise

Fuchi - Muchi

Grief & Potential



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7/22/12 - 7/29/12

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8/12/12 - 8/19/12

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8/26/12 - 9/2/12

9/2/12 - 9/9/12

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9/16/12 - 9/23/12

9/23/12 - 9/30/12

9/30/12 - 10/7/12

10/7/12 - 10/14/12

10/14/12 - 10/21/12

10/21/12 - 10/28/12

10/28/12 - 11/4/12

11/4/12 - 11/11/12

11/11/12 - 11/18/12

11/18/12 - 11/25/12

11/25/12 - 12/2/12

12/2/12 - 12/9/12

12/9/12 - 12/16/12

12/16/12 - 12/23/12

12/23/12 - 12/30/12

12/30/12 - 1/6/13

1/6/13 - 1/13/13

1/13/13 - 1/20/13

1/20/13 - 1/27/13

1/27/13 - 2/3/13

2/3/13 - 2/10/13

2/10/13 - 2/17/13

2/17/13 - 2/24/13

2/24/13 - 3/3/13

3/3/13 - 3/10/13

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5/26/13 - 6/2/13

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8/4/13 - 8/11/13

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8/25/13 - 9/1/13

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9/15/13 - 9/22/13

9/22/13 - 9/29/13

9/29/13 - 10/6/13

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10/20/13 - 10/27/13

10/27/13 - 11/3/13

11/3/13 - 11/10/13

11/10/13 - 11/17/13

11/17/13 - 11/24/13

11/24/13 - 12/1/13

12/1/13 - 12/8/13

12/8/13 - 12/15/13

12/15/13 - 12/22/13

12/22/13 - 12/29/13

12/29/13 - 1/5/14

1/5/14 - 1/12/14

1/12/14 - 1/19/14

1/19/14 - 1/26/14

1/26/14 - 2/2/14

2/2/14 - 2/9/14

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2/23/14 - 3/2/14

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3/23/14 - 3/30/14

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4/20/14 - 4/27/14

4/27/14 - 5/4/14

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5/18/14 - 5/25/14

5/25/14 - 6/1/14

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6/8/14 - 6/15/14

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7/20/14 - 7/27/14

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9/21/14 - 9/28/14

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11/9/14 - 11/16/14

11/16/14 - 11/23/14

11/23/14 - 11/30/14

11/30/14 - 12/7/14

12/7/14 - 12/14/14

12/14/14 - 12/21/14

12/21/14 - 12/28/14

12/28/14 - 1/4/15

1/4/15 - 1/11/15

1/11/15 - 1/18/15

1/18/15 - 1/25/15

1/25/15 - 2/1/15

2/1/15 - 2/8/15

2/8/15 - 2/15/15

2/15/15 - 2/22/15

2/22/15 - 3/1/15

3/1/15 - 3/8/15

3/8/15 - 3/15/15

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3/22/15 - 3/29/15

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10/25/15 - 11/1/15

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11/8/15 - 11/15/15

11/15/15 - 11/22/15

11/22/15 - 11/29/15

11/29/15 - 12/6/15

12/6/15 - 12/13/15

12/13/15 - 12/20/15

12/20/15 - 12/27/15

12/27/15 - 1/3/16

1/3/16 - 1/10/16

1/10/16 - 1/17/16

1/31/16 - 2/7/16

2/7/16 - 2/14/16

2/14/16 - 2/21/16

2/21/16 - 2/28/16

2/28/16 - 3/6/16

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3/13/16 - 3/20/16

3/20/16 - 3/27/16

3/27/16 - 4/3/16

4/3/16 - 4/10/16

4/10/16 - 4/17/16

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4/24/16 - 5/1/16

5/1/16 - 5/8/16

5/8/16 - 5/15/16

5/15/16 - 5/22/16

5/22/16 - 5/29/16

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9/25/16 - 10/2/16

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10/30/16 - 11/6/16

11/6/16 - 11/13/16

11/13/16 - 11/20/16

11/20/16 - 11/27/16

11/27/16 - 12/4/16

12/4/16 - 12/11/16

12/11/16 - 12/18/16

12/18/16 - 12/25/16

12/25/16 - 1/1/17

1/1/17 - 1/8/17

1/8/17 - 1/15/17

1/15/17 - 1/22/17

1/22/17 - 1/29/17

1/29/17 - 2/5/17

2/5/17 - 2/12/17

2/12/17 - 2/19/17

2/19/17 - 2/26/17

2/26/17 - 3/5/17

3/5/17 - 3/12/17

3/12/17 - 3/19/17

3/19/17 - 3/26/17

3/26/17 - 4/2/17

4/2/17 - 4/9/17

4/9/17 - 4/16/17

4/16/17 - 4/23/17

4/23/17 - 4/30/17

4/30/17 - 5/7/17

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5/14/17 - 5/21/17

5/21/17 - 5/28/17

5/28/17 - 6/4/17

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6/11/17 - 6/18/17

6/18/17 - 6/25/17

6/25/17 - 7/2/17

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7/23/17 - 7/30/17

7/30/17 - 8/6/17

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8/20/17 - 8/27/17

8/27/17 - 9/3/17

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9/24/17 - 10/1/17

10/1/17 - 10/8/17

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10/22/17 - 10/29/17

10/29/17 - 11/5/17

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11/12/17 - 11/19/17

11/19/17 - 11/26/17

11/26/17 - 12/3/17

12/3/17 - 12/10/17

12/10/17 - 12/17/17

12/17/17 - 12/24/17

12/24/17 - 12/31/17

12/31/17 - 1/7/18

1/7/18 - 1/14/18

1/14/18 - 1/21/18

1/21/18 - 1/28/18

1/28/18 - 2/4/18

2/4/18 - 2/11/18

2/11/18 - 2/18/18

2/18/18 - 2/25/18

2/25/18 - 3/4/18

3/4/18 - 3/11/18

3/11/18 - 3/18/18

3/18/18 - 3/25/18

3/25/18 - 4/1/18

4/1/18 - 4/8/18

4/8/18 - 4/15/18

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4/22/18 - 4/29/18

4/29/18 - 5/6/18

5/6/18 - 5/13/18

5/13/18 - 5/20/18

5/20/18 - 5/27/18

5/27/18 - 6/3/18

6/3/18 - 6/10/18

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6/24/18 - 7/1/18

7/1/18 - 7/8/18

7/8/18 - 7/15/18

7/15/18 - 7/22/18

7/22/18 - 7/29/18

7/29/18 - 8/5/18

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8/26/18 - 9/2/18

9/2/18 - 9/9/18

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9/16/18 - 9/23/18

9/23/18 - 9/30/18

9/30/18 - 10/7/18

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10/21/18 - 10/28/18

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11/4/18 - 11/11/18

11/11/18 - 11/18/18

11/18/18 - 11/25/18

11/25/18 - 12/2/18

12/2/18 - 12/9/18

12/9/18 - 12/16/18

12/16/18 - 12/23/18

12/23/18 - 12/30/18

12/30/18 - 1/6/19

1/6/19 - 1/13/19

1/13/19 - 1/20/19

1/20/19 - 1/27/19

1/27/19 - 2/3/19

2/3/19 - 2/10/19

2/10/19 - 2/17/19

2/17/19 - 2/24/19

3/3/19 - 3/10/19

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3/17/19 - 3/24/19

3/24/19 - 3/31/19

3/31/19 - 4/7/19

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4/21/19 - 4/28/19

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5/19/19 - 5/26/19

5/26/19 - 6/2/19

6/2/19 - 6/9/19

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6/23/19 - 6/30/19

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7/14/19 - 7/21/19

7/21/19 - 7/28/19

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8/4/19 - 8/11/19

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8/25/19 - 9/1/19

9/1/19 - 9/8/19

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11/17/19 - 11/24/19

11/24/19 - 12/1/19

12/1/19 - 12/8/19

12/8/19 - 12/15/19

12/15/19 - 12/22/19

12/22/19 - 12/29/19

12/29/19 - 1/5/20

1/5/20 - 1/12/20

1/12/20 - 1/19/20

1/19/20 - 1/26/20

1/26/20 - 2/2/20

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2/23/20 - 3/1/20

3/1/20 - 3/8/20

3/8/20 - 3/15/20

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3/22/20 - 3/29/20

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10/25/20 - 11/1/20

11/1/20 - 11/8/20

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11/15/20 - 11/22/20

11/22/20 - 11/29/20

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12/13/20 - 12/20/20

12/20/20 - 12/27/20

12/27/20 - 1/3/21

1/3/21 - 1/10/21

1/17/21 - 1/24/21

1/24/21 - 1/31/21

2/7/21 - 2/14/21

2/14/21 - 2/21/21

2/21/21 - 2/28/21

2/28/21 - 3/7/21

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3/21/21 - 3/28/21

3/28/21 - 4/4/21

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5/2/21 - 5/9/21

5/9/21 - 5/16/21

5/16/21 - 5/23/21

5/30/21 - 6/6/21

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6/20/21 - 6/27/21

6/27/21 - 7/4/21

7/4/21 - 7/11/21

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7/25/21 - 8/1/21

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8/8/21 - 8/15/21

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8/22/21 - 8/29/21

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9/19/21 - 9/26/21

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10/24/21 - 10/31/21

10/31/21 - 11/7/21

11/7/21 - 11/14/21

11/14/21 - 11/21/21

11/21/21 - 11/28/21

11/28/21 - 12/5/21

12/5/21 - 12/12/21

12/12/21 - 12/19/21

12/19/21 - 12/26/21

12/26/21 - 1/2/22

1/2/22 - 1/9/22

1/9/22 - 1/16/22

1/16/22 - 1/23/22

1/23/22 - 1/30/22

1/30/22 - 2/6/22

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2/20/22 - 2/27/22

2/27/22 - 3/6/22

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3/20/22 - 3/27/22

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11/20/22 - 11/27/22

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11/17/24 - 11/24/24

11/24/24 - 12/1/24

12/1/24 - 12/8/24