My grandmother María de los Dolores Reyes de Irureta Goyena - 1950 Buenos Aires

 

December 9, 2020 was a fatalistic date in my life. That is when my wife Rosemary with whom I had been married for 52 years died. Six minutes before she died she asked, “Am I dying?” I was unable to respond. In some ways once she died my family of two daughters and two granddaughters somehow fractured.

My eldest granddaughter whom Rosemary and I took around the world I see only twice a year (once at Christmas). She does not answer my phone calls or my texts. The younger sister Lauren I see rarely. I am not a grandfather, but an old man.

My youngest daughter told me she does not read my blog (6959 to date) because she does not want to become addicted to her phone. My other daughter, Alexandra lives in remote Lillooet and I may see her about five times a year.

Last night I did a Powerpoint presentation that was autobiographical on how I got into photography at Cineworks. My youngest daughter, who would have been my only family to attend was very busy at her job and told me that she had no makeup or proper clothing to attend. I had given her money for Euber.

The presentation went well but I was melancholic knowing that today I would be faced with emptiness after the fact. Neither of my daughters called to find out how my presentation had been received.

It is here that I want to point out how close I was to my maternal grandmother. She told me all kinds of advice related to the Don Quijote and Spanish refrains she learned when she was educated in Valencia. The one comment of hers that applies to me at my age of 83 is “un cero a la izquierda”. That translates to “a zero to the left”. I will explain that in this way”

0.1, 00.1, 000.1 are all the same. After that initial zero the rest are not necessary.

In short I feel that I am a cero a la izquierda. With only slight humour I tell people that I will soon compose a country and western song called Obsolete- Redundant-Retired and Inconsequential. With the money I have in the bank, my life insurance and my all-paid Kits home I will be most useful to my family when I am dead.

And so it goes.