A THOUSAND WORDS - Alex Waterhouse-Hayward's blog on pictures, plants, politics and whatever else is on his mind.




 

Living Memory Redefined
Thursday, May 13, 2021

 

Rosemary in Seattle's Space Needle

Because I was born in 1942 and my mother died in 1972 that means that she was in my life for 30 years.

My Rosemary and I watched and heard her inhale on the bed in Arboledas, Estado de México. She did not exhale. Rosemary has been in my life 53 years.

Thinking back I realize that my mother’s death, as terrible as any mother’s death can be, was somehow ameliorated by the shared experience and the presence of Rosemary since then. That shared death was something more that made our marriage bond that much stronger. My mother and Rosemary got along famously and it was my mother who urged me to marry Rosemary.

Now thinking back at 1972 I can say that I can handle my mother’s death and that time does heal. People invariably tell us that we live with our memories.

I beg to differ here. Consider the term “living memory”. It is mostly defined as remembering the past by people who are alive in the present. I would like to re-define the term by beginning with the mattress in which my mother died.

In 1975 when Rosemary advised me that we were going to move to Vancouver she further informed me that we were going to send all our possessions including the oil, vinegar, salt and pepper via a moving van. My mother’s mattress was included. We were poor and I know for a fact that Rosemary and I might have slept on that mattress in Burnaby. I have no memory when the mattress and we parted ways.

That mattress and my mother’s death is a living memory. But.

I am currently sleeping on the very bed and mattress where Rosemary died on December 9 in the arms of our daughters Alexandra and Hilary. I sleep on that mattress every day. There may be a picture of my mother here and there but none of the visible possessions of our Kitsilano home have any direct connection with her. But.

Everything in this house, including the garden, some of the food still in the fridge, Niño and Niña (our cats), the neighbourhood, the Chevrolet Cruze and everything else that I can see and smell is the presence of Rosemary. Can this be a living memory or something more? 

When my two cats, Niño and Niña, stare at me and stick to me like chicle they are a living presence of two creatures that were petted, hugged and baby-talked by Rosemary. While the cats cannot be equated to the presence of Rosemary on my mother's death, they are a constant and living presence of an absence that is there and almost palpable. 

 

December 9 2020


Consider that if you are looking at an object and someone takes it away you might stare at the empty spot and feel and discern a presence - a presence that is there by its absence.

This is why my living memory of Rosemary is more than just that. My Mexican poet friend friend Homero Aridjis nailed it in my favourite poem of his. Below you will find it in Spanish and translated into English by George McWhirter.

Asymptote memory 

 

Carta de México

 Por estas callejuelas

ancestros invisibles

caminan con nosotros

 

ruidos de coches

miradas de niños

y cuerpos de muchachas

los traspasan

 

Impalpables y vagos

frente a puertas que ya no son

y puentes que son vaciós

los atravesamos

 

mientras con el sol en la cara

nosotros vamos también

hacia la transparencia

 

 

 

Letter From Mexico

Invisible ancestors

walk with us

through these back streets

 

car-noises

the stares of children

young girls’ bodies

cross through them

 

Weightless     vague

we travel through them

at doorways that no longer are

on bridges that are empty

 

while with the sun on our faces

we too

move toward transparency

 

Homero Aridjis

Eyes to See Otherwise - Ojos de otro mirar

Selected Poems

Edited by Betty Farber and George McWhirter

 




A Purple/red Surprise
Wednesday, May 12, 2021

From Left, top,  Dr. Huey, William Lobb, Charles de Mills & bottom Chapeau de Napoleon, 12 May 2021
 

This 12th of May, 2021, like any May in a rose garden, will bring, invariably, in an early morning visit some sort of surprise. Today’s was special as besides Rosa ‘Leander’ having two more open blooms there were those purplish/red roses. I felt guilty in cutting them but I did.

My original intention when I started scanning the roses and most of the plants from our garden in 2002 was one of accuracy. I wanted to reproduce plants at 100% size and with my calibrated monitor I was able to reproduce the true colour of my plants and roses. Some might suspect or note that in a shady garden, film cameras, digital cameras and video cameras are extra sensitive to UV lighting. Blue flowers will reproduce as bluer and some white roses might have a slight green cast because of being near to a lawn.

By naming my plant in that day’s date the resulting scan could be compared by someone else in a different country.

In the end I just enjoyed the scan. I would tell some of my friends that my roses would talk to me and say, “Cut me now, I am at my best.” Most laughed at me.

But I must admit that sometimes I feel artsy and today’s blog has an artsy image, too. I placed under my roses, an opaque Mylar sheet between them and the scanner bed.

 


 

Looking at my roses on a sunny day with my two cats in tow makes me smile but I invariably think of my Rosemary and I become sad. It was two years ago that Rosemary went to the old house (I never had the heart to return but she was brave) and brought and unnamed rose that was on the laneway garden. When it bloomed last year it was a red rose we had never purchased. That’s when we agreed that the original rose must have died and what we had was a very much alive root stock of Rosa ‘Dr. Huey’. I am impressed by the persistence of this doctor and I only wish that Rosemary were around to count all of its 35 buds.




     

Previous Posts
Rosemary - you far off

Today would have...

No está porque no es - to be or...

Medias Lunas & Voting for the Federal Election Tod...

Rosemary, Rosa María, Rosemarie

Rosemary's Acumen for Finances & Clematis

Grief & the Yellow & the Blue

My Heart's Desire

No Blues For Me Today - Blessed & Yellow

Cheating on my birthday self-portrait



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9/6/15 - 9/13/15

9/13/15 - 9/20/15

9/20/15 - 9/27/15

9/27/15 - 10/4/15

10/4/15 - 10/11/15

10/18/15 - 10/25/15

10/25/15 - 11/1/15

11/1/15 - 11/8/15

11/8/15 - 11/15/15

11/15/15 - 11/22/15

11/22/15 - 11/29/15

11/29/15 - 12/6/15

12/6/15 - 12/13/15

12/13/15 - 12/20/15

12/20/15 - 12/27/15

12/27/15 - 1/3/16

1/3/16 - 1/10/16

1/10/16 - 1/17/16

1/31/16 - 2/7/16

2/7/16 - 2/14/16

2/14/16 - 2/21/16

2/21/16 - 2/28/16

2/28/16 - 3/6/16

3/6/16 - 3/13/16

3/13/16 - 3/20/16

3/20/16 - 3/27/16

3/27/16 - 4/3/16

4/3/16 - 4/10/16

4/10/16 - 4/17/16

4/17/16 - 4/24/16

4/24/16 - 5/1/16

5/1/16 - 5/8/16

5/8/16 - 5/15/16

5/15/16 - 5/22/16

5/22/16 - 5/29/16

5/29/16 - 6/5/16

6/5/16 - 6/12/16

6/12/16 - 6/19/16

6/19/16 - 6/26/16

6/26/16 - 7/3/16

7/3/16 - 7/10/16

7/10/16 - 7/17/16

7/17/16 - 7/24/16

7/24/16 - 7/31/16

7/31/16 - 8/7/16

8/7/16 - 8/14/16

8/14/16 - 8/21/16

8/21/16 - 8/28/16

8/28/16 - 9/4/16

9/4/16 - 9/11/16

9/11/16 - 9/18/16

9/18/16 - 9/25/16

9/25/16 - 10/2/16

10/2/16 - 10/9/16

10/9/16 - 10/16/16

10/16/16 - 10/23/16

10/23/16 - 10/30/16

10/30/16 - 11/6/16

11/6/16 - 11/13/16

11/13/16 - 11/20/16

11/20/16 - 11/27/16

11/27/16 - 12/4/16

12/4/16 - 12/11/16

12/11/16 - 12/18/16

12/18/16 - 12/25/16

12/25/16 - 1/1/17

1/1/17 - 1/8/17

1/8/17 - 1/15/17

1/15/17 - 1/22/17

1/22/17 - 1/29/17

1/29/17 - 2/5/17

2/5/17 - 2/12/17

2/12/17 - 2/19/17

2/19/17 - 2/26/17

2/26/17 - 3/5/17

3/5/17 - 3/12/17

3/12/17 - 3/19/17

3/19/17 - 3/26/17

3/26/17 - 4/2/17

4/2/17 - 4/9/17

4/9/17 - 4/16/17

4/16/17 - 4/23/17

4/23/17 - 4/30/17

4/30/17 - 5/7/17

5/7/17 - 5/14/17

5/14/17 - 5/21/17

5/21/17 - 5/28/17

5/28/17 - 6/4/17

6/4/17 - 6/11/17

6/11/17 - 6/18/17

6/18/17 - 6/25/17

6/25/17 - 7/2/17

7/2/17 - 7/9/17

7/9/17 - 7/16/17

7/16/17 - 7/23/17

7/23/17 - 7/30/17

7/30/17 - 8/6/17

8/6/17 - 8/13/17

8/13/17 - 8/20/17

8/20/17 - 8/27/17

8/27/17 - 9/3/17

9/3/17 - 9/10/17

9/10/17 - 9/17/17

9/17/17 - 9/24/17

9/24/17 - 10/1/17

10/1/17 - 10/8/17

10/8/17 - 10/15/17

10/15/17 - 10/22/17

10/22/17 - 10/29/17

10/29/17 - 11/5/17

11/5/17 - 11/12/17

11/12/17 - 11/19/17

11/19/17 - 11/26/17

11/26/17 - 12/3/17

12/3/17 - 12/10/17

12/10/17 - 12/17/17

12/17/17 - 12/24/17

12/24/17 - 12/31/17

12/31/17 - 1/7/18

1/7/18 - 1/14/18

1/14/18 - 1/21/18

1/21/18 - 1/28/18

1/28/18 - 2/4/18

2/4/18 - 2/11/18

2/11/18 - 2/18/18

2/18/18 - 2/25/18

2/25/18 - 3/4/18

3/4/18 - 3/11/18

3/11/18 - 3/18/18

3/18/18 - 3/25/18

3/25/18 - 4/1/18

4/1/18 - 4/8/18

4/8/18 - 4/15/18

4/15/18 - 4/22/18

4/22/18 - 4/29/18

4/29/18 - 5/6/18

5/6/18 - 5/13/18

5/13/18 - 5/20/18

5/20/18 - 5/27/18

5/27/18 - 6/3/18

6/3/18 - 6/10/18

6/10/18 - 6/17/18

6/17/18 - 6/24/18

6/24/18 - 7/1/18

7/1/18 - 7/8/18

7/8/18 - 7/15/18

7/15/18 - 7/22/18

7/22/18 - 7/29/18

7/29/18 - 8/5/18

8/5/18 - 8/12/18

8/12/18 - 8/19/18

8/19/18 - 8/26/18

8/26/18 - 9/2/18

9/2/18 - 9/9/18

9/9/18 - 9/16/18

9/16/18 - 9/23/18

9/23/18 - 9/30/18

9/30/18 - 10/7/18

10/7/18 - 10/14/18

10/14/18 - 10/21/18

10/21/18 - 10/28/18

10/28/18 - 11/4/18

11/4/18 - 11/11/18

11/11/18 - 11/18/18

11/18/18 - 11/25/18

11/25/18 - 12/2/18

12/2/18 - 12/9/18

12/9/18 - 12/16/18

12/16/18 - 12/23/18

12/23/18 - 12/30/18

12/30/18 - 1/6/19

1/6/19 - 1/13/19

1/13/19 - 1/20/19

1/20/19 - 1/27/19

1/27/19 - 2/3/19

2/3/19 - 2/10/19

2/10/19 - 2/17/19

2/17/19 - 2/24/19

3/3/19 - 3/10/19

3/10/19 - 3/17/19

3/17/19 - 3/24/19

3/24/19 - 3/31/19

3/31/19 - 4/7/19

4/7/19 - 4/14/19

4/14/19 - 4/21/19

4/21/19 - 4/28/19

4/28/19 - 5/5/19

5/5/19 - 5/12/19

5/12/19 - 5/19/19

5/19/19 - 5/26/19

5/26/19 - 6/2/19

6/2/19 - 6/9/19

6/9/19 - 6/16/19

6/16/19 - 6/23/19

6/23/19 - 6/30/19

6/30/19 - 7/7/19

7/7/19 - 7/14/19

7/14/19 - 7/21/19

7/21/19 - 7/28/19

7/28/19 - 8/4/19

8/4/19 - 8/11/19

8/11/19 - 8/18/19

8/18/19 - 8/25/19

8/25/19 - 9/1/19

9/1/19 - 9/8/19

9/8/19 - 9/15/19

9/15/19 - 9/22/19

9/22/19 - 9/29/19

9/29/19 - 10/6/19

10/6/19 - 10/13/19

10/13/19 - 10/20/19

10/20/19 - 10/27/19

10/27/19 - 11/3/19

11/3/19 - 11/10/19

11/10/19 - 11/17/19

11/17/19 - 11/24/19

11/24/19 - 12/1/19

12/1/19 - 12/8/19

12/8/19 - 12/15/19

12/15/19 - 12/22/19

12/22/19 - 12/29/19

12/29/19 - 1/5/20

1/5/20 - 1/12/20

1/12/20 - 1/19/20

1/19/20 - 1/26/20

1/26/20 - 2/2/20

2/2/20 - 2/9/20

2/9/20 - 2/16/20

2/16/20 - 2/23/20

2/23/20 - 3/1/20

3/1/20 - 3/8/20

3/8/20 - 3/15/20

3/15/20 - 3/22/20

3/22/20 - 3/29/20

3/29/20 - 4/5/20

4/5/20 - 4/12/20

4/12/20 - 4/19/20

4/19/20 - 4/26/20

4/26/20 - 5/3/20

5/3/20 - 5/10/20

5/10/20 - 5/17/20

5/17/20 - 5/24/20

5/24/20 - 5/31/20

5/31/20 - 6/7/20

6/7/20 - 6/14/20

6/14/20 - 6/21/20

6/21/20 - 6/28/20

6/28/20 - 7/5/20

7/12/20 - 7/19/20

7/19/20 - 7/26/20

7/26/20 - 8/2/20

8/2/20 - 8/9/20

8/9/20 - 8/16/20

8/16/20 - 8/23/20

8/23/20 - 8/30/20

8/30/20 - 9/6/20

9/6/20 - 9/13/20

9/13/20 - 9/20/20

9/20/20 - 9/27/20

9/27/20 - 10/4/20

10/4/20 - 10/11/20

10/11/20 - 10/18/20

10/18/20 - 10/25/20

10/25/20 - 11/1/20

11/1/20 - 11/8/20

11/8/20 - 11/15/20

11/15/20 - 11/22/20

11/22/20 - 11/29/20

11/29/20 - 12/6/20

12/6/20 - 12/13/20

12/13/20 - 12/20/20

12/20/20 - 12/27/20

12/27/20 - 1/3/21

1/3/21 - 1/10/21

1/17/21 - 1/24/21

1/24/21 - 1/31/21

2/7/21 - 2/14/21

2/14/21 - 2/21/21

2/21/21 - 2/28/21

2/28/21 - 3/7/21

3/7/21 - 3/14/21

3/14/21 - 3/21/21

3/21/21 - 3/28/21

3/28/21 - 4/4/21

4/4/21 - 4/11/21

4/11/21 - 4/18/21

4/18/21 - 4/25/21

4/25/21 - 5/2/21

5/2/21 - 5/9/21

5/9/21 - 5/16/21

5/16/21 - 5/23/21

5/30/21 - 6/6/21

6/6/21 - 6/13/21

6/13/21 - 6/20/21

6/20/21 - 6/27/21

6/27/21 - 7/4/21

7/4/21 - 7/11/21

7/11/21 - 7/18/21

7/18/21 - 7/25/21

7/25/21 - 8/1/21

8/1/21 - 8/8/21

8/8/21 - 8/15/21

8/15/21 - 8/22/21

8/22/21 - 8/29/21

8/29/21 - 9/5/21

9/5/21 - 9/12/21

9/12/21 - 9/19/21

9/19/21 - 9/26/21