|Rosa 'Buttercup' & Salvia patens - 6 September 2021|
Grief, I now understand comes in many levels.
My mother was 59 when she died in 1972. Rosemary was there with me when she breathed in and did not exhale. The only doctor in our neighbourhood of Arboledas, Estado de México, was a veterinarian. He tried to soften the blow by saying (using a diminutive), “Está muertita.”
I have had 49 years for my grief to dissipate. That my mother died in the presence of my wife was one of the many important experiences that we shared. Rosemary loved my mother.
Now with the death of Rosemary on December 9 I have had almost 10 months of a terrible time and I know I will not have 49 more years to perhaps lessen my grief.
With all this happening I had one moment of lucidity today. I have a nephew (I adore him) who is two years younger than my 79. His name is Georgito O’Reilly. He lives in Buenos Aires. When he was 13 his mother, my first cousin and godmother, was widowed. Georgito had two younger brothers and a sister. He had to quit school and got a job as an office courier at Remington Rand when he was15. For the rest of his life he was plagued by lots of bad luck. His wife had a brain aneurism 10 years ago. Then in the span of three years, a couple of years ago, he lost his mother, two brothers and a son.
I cannot begin to understand how he navigates his grief. It does not make me feel better but I do consider now that grief has levels of intensity.
I cannot leave this blog with this melancholic negativity. The scan here is about plants I have often written about. When we started gardening in 1986 Rosemary only wanted plants that had either blue or white flowers. But slowly she developed an appreciation of yellows.
Rosa ‘Buttercup’is an English Rose.When she saw the rose at a local nursery she immediately had to buy it. The blue Salvia patens was always a favourite of hers. With the garden in decline, today 6 September 2021, a sunny day, somehow seeing these two bright beacons of Rosemary’s taste for the good things, made me smile.