My side is on the side with the blue pillowcases

Yo me duermo a la orilla de una mujer: yo me duermo a la orilla de un abismo.

 I sleep on the edge of a woman; I sleep on the edge of a precipice.  Eduardo Galeano

Tonight is the end of the first day of 2023. Because I want to start afresh, I washed my sheets and pillow cases (after getting Niño and Niña to get off). Once the sheets were dried I had to make the bed.

I can think of nothing more intimate (other than having sex with my Rosemary) than making our bed. We always made it together. Seeing that smile of satisfaction while we were stretching the sheets gave me a sense of acute intimacy, as if we were going to have sex as soon as the bed was made. And of course that may have happened a few times.

Tonight I will take a complete bath and wash my hair and put on a clean nightie. I will get into our bed and think of those moments, that now almost come close, when Niño and Niña get as near as they can to me (or on me) when I turn off the light.

Because Rosemary is not here I now like to share the bed with her empty presence and I lie part of the night on her side.

In the morning I go down with the cats and feed them. I prepare my breakfast on what used to be the wicker tray we shared and I place the day’s newspapers in it with my tea, bread, juice and all of the pills that my daughter Hilary says I should take.

As I have breakfast I can almost imagine the satisfaction of those past breakfasts with Rosemary.

I might add here a little intimate detail. Rosemary was a morning person.