There is a framed portrait of my Rosemary on the opposite wall from my bed. Rarely did I ever take portraits of my family with them smiling. I asked them to stare into my camera which was always at their eye level. The result is that Rosemary in this portrait that I took in Mexico City in 1969 stares at me. As soon as I turn off the lights in the evening she keeps staring at me.

I took this self-portrait because I had a memory that has haunted me since I was 6. The upcoming Halloween is part of it.

When I was 6 in Buenos Aires my mother worked for the American School that was right next to the Belgrano-R train station. She had friends in the American Embassy and often brought American foods that charmed me. It was on that important day (it must have been close to Halloween in the US when she showed me a package of multi-coloured candy she told me was called candy corn. She offered me a handful. They were delicious. I wanted more. She told me no and I watched her open an armoire and place the bag in it. She went to the kitchen. I immediately opened the armoire and helped myself to more candy. But there was a mirror behind one of the doors. I saw myself and I mentally told myself, “That is me.” I believe that in that moment I became who I am and to this day while I am all that much older that is still me.

Borges once wrote that every first occasion is followed by an infinite repetition of it until we die.

And so when I took the picture illustrating this blog I quickly saw myself as a little blond boy who found his way into his existence. There is another thought in my mind when I look at myself in a mirror. Borges wrote, “Is this the last time this mirror will reflect my face?”