Her Roses & Three Sentient Beings
Saturday, October 05, 2024
| Rosa 'St.Swithun' left - top & bottom Rosa 'Sweet Juliet' - right Rosa 'Sombreul' 4 October 2024
| | Rosa 'Thomas a Becket' left - right Rosa 'Mrs. Oakley Fisher' - top Rosa 'Queen of Sweden' - 5 October 2024
|
Los
muertos, a falta de un lugar más confortable, se quedan en la cabeza de los
seres queridos" javier Marías
The quote above by the now gone Spanish writer translates
as: The dead with a lack of a more comfortable place, remain in the head of
their loved ones.
Today October 5,
2024 I had 3 roses in bloom. In a few days that will be the end of my roses
until next year. Because it was my Rosemary who dragged me to a meeting of the
Vancouver Rose Society in the late 80s I will always associate roses with her.
When we lived in Mexico I was more aware that in Spanish
she was Rosamaría. It seemed that her connection with roses was more direct.
As fall turns into winter my daily regimen of feed my
cats breakfast, writing a blog and scanning the plants from my Kits garden will
be, sadly, reduced to the first two.
In Spanish there is a word that is equivalent to
listless. The word is desganado. It literally means “without the will to do
anything”. This is my situation these days. Going down the stairs in the
morning to feed Niño and Niña I am confronted with my framed portraits of
Rosemary, our two daughters and granddaughters. I cannot escape the presence of
Rosemary.
Some of my friends suggest I move to another little
house. I believe that my little Kits house will serve someone in my family well
once I am gone.
“Once I am gone” is a constant thought with me. As my
days become days when nobody calls or visits I have this nagging suspicion that
I am waiting – waiting for what? It is obvious
that oblivion beckons as there are few distractions to prevent me from thinking
that thought.
Yesterday and today I scanned the roses in my
garden. For some years I keep thinking
of St. Luke’s (King James Bible version) “Do this in remembrance of me”.
Scanning the roses, invariably somehow means that Rosemary is close.
Come winter, with the roses gone, her presence will be in
the portraits on the wall. I sometimes say, “Rosemary!” in the presence of my
two cats. They stare at me. Do they Remember?
For many years I thought that a sentient being was a
human who walked on two feet. I have now realized that it is the ability to
think and feel that is in the definition. I am convinced that my two cats are
sentient beings.
There is some level of comfort that I share my grief with
Niño and Niña.
Rosemary Had Manners & Good Taste
Friday, October 04, 2024
| Aconitum carmichaelli 'Arendsii' & Rosa 'Sombreul' 5 October 2024
|
My
mother often told me, “Hay pocas gentes finas y con educación como nosotros.” That translates to, “There are few
people with education and good taste like us,”
Educación in Spanish not only includes education but also
good taste and manners.
My mother and my Rosemary got along splendidly as my
mother understood that Rosemary had exquisite good taste. This good taste of
hers translated into a lovely snobbishness when she selected plants for our
garden. Her favourite colours were white and blue. It was only later at my
urging that she began to appreciate yellow, orange and red
Today October 5 I noticed that Rosa ‘Sombreul’ and Aconitum
carmichaelii ‘Arendsii’ were in bloom. I knew I had to scan both. I am filling
gaping holes in my blog so this one I will put in to yesterday.
It seems that my grief for my Rosemary is somewhat ameliorated
a tad when I scan her plants in her memory. When the scanning season ends in a few weeks I will have to find other distractions to keep me going.
The One
Thursday, October 03, 2024
| Lauren Elizabeth Stewart - 2009
|
I have lived most of my life in that past 20th century. Now
that I am 82, I feel I can take advantage not only of what that past century gave,
but I can also take advantage of the offerings of this one.
As an example I place my daily blog links into Facebook and
Twitter. Facebook provides me with one special service. Every day they send me
9 or more past blogs with that day’s date. Today I will be shown a few from
October 8s from the past.
Because I have now written 6239 blogs (including this one)
it is impossible for me to remember them all. A few days ago I was shown this
blog:
My scary girls weren’t scared
In it I was suddenly amazed by a portrait of Lauren posing
by a fern in our Athlone Street home in Kerrisdale in 2009.
It was simple for me to find the negative. I looked in my
family files for the year of 2009 and found an envelope marked as Rebecca and
Lauren by fern.
I believe that in this century the concept of a contact
sheet of b+w or colour negatives is gone. As a magazine photographer I learned
to look at my contact sheet and find “the one”. Art directors also had that
talent. In many cases these art directors and I would agree on the best shot.
Somehow when I took this photograph of Lauren, there are at
least 15 but 4 in a strip that are all similar. I picked the last one.
Sometimes my best portrait was that last one. I have no idea why,
except that with film I never wanted to waste film, so I would shoot the whole
roll. I may have put special emphasis on that last shot.
As the portrait photographer that I am, these are the
thoughts that came to me when I noticed this picture. Rosemary was alive and
somewhere in the house. Perhaps she was in the garden or in the kitchen.
Because I also took portraits of Rebecca in the same location was she still
there watching me and even giving me some pointers? Unlike the photographs that
I have taken in the past of people that are now dead I can look at this one and
think, “She was alive then and very alive now at age 22.”
And my final thought is that when I discovered this
portrait I would have immediately shown it to Rosemary. That is something that
I cannot do. And I grieve.
Not Saying Goodbye French Style
Monday, September 30, 2024
| Rosa 'Sweet Juliet' top left and bottom right - top right Rosa 'Westerland' & below left Rosa 'A Shropshire Lad' 30 September 2024
|
In his introduction to Camera Lucida – Reflections on
Photography, Roland Barthes writes:
One day, quite some
time ago, I happened on a photograph of Napoleon’s youngest brother, Jerome,
taken in 1852. And I realized then, with an amazement I have not been able to
lessen since: “I am looking into the eyes that looked at the Emperor.” Sometimes
I would mention this amazement, but since no one seemed to share it, nor even
understand it (life consists of these little touches of solitude), I forgot
about it. My interest in Photography took a more cultural turn.
My interest in the Bonapartes has always been in Napoleon’s
older brother Joseph.
During the Napoleonic
Wars, Napoleon made Joseph King of Naples (1806–1808), and then King of Spain
(1808–1813). After the fall of Napoleon, Joseph styled himself Comte de
Survilliers and emigrated to the United States, where he settled near
Bordentown, New Jersey, on an estate overlooking the Delaware River not far
from Philadelphia.
Spaniards have a long lasting memory of Joseph. They say
that as soon as Joseph was aware that Lord Wellington was on his way, he left
in a hurry without saying goodbye.
To this day “despedirse a la francesa” (to leave without
saying goodbye French style) many in Spanish speaking countries will quote it.
All the above is to justify my placing here today’s scan of
three lovely roses, which in spite of being fall, have bloomed and to me they are
saying goodbye until next year.
Few if anybody I know is aware that Joseph Bonaparte
finished his days in New Jersey.
Randy Rampage Memorial at Mountain View Cemetery
Sunday, September 29, 2024
| Mountain View Cemetery - 29 September 2024
| | Randy Rampage 31 December 2015
|
The Red Shawl: very mysterious classy item.like some
neat,funky historical piece. I’d wear it for fuckin' sure !!!!
On December 3, 2015 Randy Rampage posed wearing my mother’s
Mexican red shawl. His comment about wearing it (above) is short and sweet.
Today 29 September, 2024 I attended the sixth anniversary
of his death (August 14, 2018) at Mountain View Cemetery. The memorial has
always been arranged by his paramour Susanne Tabata.
As life progresses attendance is reduced every year. Perhaps,
as I believe, people are simply dying.
Going to this memorial makes me feel useful as I shoot (a
tradition it seems) the group photograph. I bungled it this year by not sitting
quickly enough after I pressed the self-timer.
I had the terrific luck of sitting next to my hero Art
Bergmann who was given Randy’s 12-string
guitar to play. He sang, low key but I was able to hear nicely.
| Art Bergmann
|
Before I left Susanne pointed in the direction of Jade
Kent and told me, “Isn’t she a classical beauty?” I agreed and happily Jade
posed for me when I was setting up my camera for the group shot. | Jade |
|