Saturday, December 18, 2021

 

Completely alone, 18 December 2021 5pm

This morning Niño and Niña were on my lap as I was having my last breakfast before I leave tonight for Buenos Aires.

The bags are packed thanks to the fact that I have adopted Rosemary’s secret for being organized. This was a little book called lists. Every day she would strike out with a pen or pencil what had been done. I can now reveal that doing that brings a lot of pleasure.

But during the day I had that lingering feeling of melancholy as I thought of having to take the cats to the Feline Hilton (they accept reservations but they do not serve buffet breakfast) on West Boulevard in Kerrisdale.

 

 

Niño & Niña 18 December 2021 9am

Taking the cats was always a sad affair but this was something that Rosemary and I did together. Coming back from an international trip or just from a weekend in Lillooet always brought the pleasure of picking them up.

Today I remembered my cardiologist with a heart, who a few weeks ago, when I saw him in person he asked me, “How are your cats?” I answered that as days passed I saw them more as humans. Dr, Huckell corrected me, “Alex you are becoming a cat.”

Finally the time came and I put them (this time with little effort) into their carry/cage. I left them with the kind women that work at the Kerrisdale Veterinary Clinic.

Driving home, arriving at my house door, when normally upon entering I would say , “¿Niño, Niña como están?” I was hit by the reality that for the first time since my Rosemary died on December 9 2020 I was now completely alone.

The excitement of my trip to Buenos Aires is muted and the only kind of positive thought I have happens when I think, “On December 31, as soon as I arrive at the Vancouver Airport I will pick up Niño and Niña.”

And I will no longer be alone.

 

 

 

 

Friday, December 17, 2021

 

Mexico City - 1969

Anything that happened 51 years ago is but a vague memory for me. I have no idea how I came up with the concept of taking portraits of my Rosemary in 1969 when our first daughter Alexandra Elizabeth was perhaps one year old. While I have a fondness for film, it cannot compete with digital images that have the date and time in what is called File Info.

I do remember that if you look closely to the last three exposures on the left that Alexandra was doing what most babies do as often as they want.

 

 

I took these portraits in our second rented apartment that was on Herodoto Street in the not yet fashionable Zona Rosa of Mexico City.

What I can confirm without having to test my memory is that these were the first ever nude photographs I had ever taken. And obvious to anybody into the details, both were wearing pearl earrings. It has been a custom to pierce female babies’ears when they are born in the hospital in Latin America.

Kodak Tri-X

 

Because of my trip to Buenos Aires on 18 December to 31 December I am writing blogs now (this one today Friday January 14 2022.

Thursday, December 16, 2021

 

Heraclitus of Ephesus said, "You cannot step into the same river twice, for other waters are continually flowing on.”

In modern times we have modified Heraclitus with “That’s water under the bridge.”

I have been always fascinated by time and its consequence in my life.

From my place on my bed, with my two cats, I am able to look at portraits of my family that I took long ago or at least 8 years ago. I see them as memories that become graphic if I can touch copies or simply look at the framed images. 

 

In this last year I have been having no relief in living alone with my cats (they do help, but) and no Rosemary. I wonder what images Heraclitus might have seen in his mind and what others from early Greek painting and sculpture. Was he limited in his memory?

With my scanner I have been finding and putting into my blog early photographs I took of Rosemary. I look at them with some degree of pleasure but with a lot of grief. Definitely time is linear in one direction and I cannot go back to what or how it was.

But in the middle of the night I had this vision of a somewhat exception to time’s linearity.

I often do not finish my mug of tea and hours after I reheat it in the microwave. Is the re-warmed tea a present version of the past?

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.

Whatever I see I swallow immediately

Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.

I am not cruel, only truthful‚

The eye of a little god.

 

 Sylvia Plath, Mirror

 

Tuesday, December 14, 2021

 

Many writers including Joan Didion have written some form of this, “I write because I want to know what I am thinking.”

Many who inspect my photographs in my blogs just look at them. The writing perhaps is tedious so they avoid it. To me that is not important. Writing gives me a sense of purpose. It helps me make some sense of my life this far.

Today I found these two colour negatives which I shot in Austin, Texas sometime in 1959. On the left is Old Main, where my dormitory and classes were at St. Ed’s High School. It was a Roman Catholic high school that in the late 60s ceased its activity to become part of a very good liberal arts university, St. Edward’s University.

I like the juxtaposition or the closeness of these two negatives. On the right is the back of Mr. Marshall’s head. He was the only lay teacher I had while at St. Ed’s. He taught me English Lit and writing but I remember him fondly for having exposed us to an excellent Civics. To this day I understand American politics, its Constitution and anything connected with misdemeanors, homicide and other terms used in the American law system.

Mr. Marshall had a temper which he controlled. But you knew he was angry when his face turned to a similar shade of red like his hair.

In all my exposure to his terrific classes I remember the one time he told us a joke. As he had been a soldier in the US Army during WW-II he told us that when they liberated Paris there was a famous street called Chance for Easy Lay.

I have always been fascinated by red hair. My mother frequently told me that I had had a sister who was born dead. Her name was Victoria, and she had red hair.