A THOUSAND WORDS - Alex Waterhouse-Hayward's blog on pictures, plants, politics and whatever else is on his mind.




 

Miss Moneypenny's Fishnets & The Last Temptation of Bond
Saturday, March 29, 2014




Zanna Downes

Today I regret having abandoned my years of dancing the Argentine Tango in Vancouver. In the beginning my wife and I had attempted to learn together. There is one incident I will never forget. I remember telling our dance teacher Carlos Loyola, “I refuse to dance with that woman!” At the same time that I had my dance spat with Rosemary she found out she had critical osteoporosis and the constant turning of knees in tango did her in.  But I kept dancing and became what I would kindly consider to be an “efficient” dancer. I was good enough not to be noticed.

But one of the high points of going to the weekly milonga at the Polish Community Hall on Fraser Street was Zanna Downes. She had a perfect British accent, the Queen herself. She had long blonde hair and a lovely and warm face. She was polite and you could easily imagine her as a countess lording over a castle in northern England. But that image was not for me. She was Miss Moneypenny. And not, most definitely the Miss Moneypenny of the James Bond films.

I danced with all sorts of beautiful women who wore satin dresses with slits on the side. One, Indiana was 6 ft tall and when I danced with her nobody noticed me because they noticed her. I looked pretty good with Indiana. Because she was tall, and because Argentine Tango dictates that one should dance tightly this meant that the only way was for me to rest my head on her chest.

But that was routine for me after a while. I waited for the moment that Zanna (short for Alexandra) would arrive. She would sit on a side bench to put on her dancing shoes. Most always she wore fishnets on the most beautiful legs I have ever seen (up there with my mother’s and my Rosemary). She would cross her legs and bend over to slip her high heeled tango shoes. It never got any better except perhaps when I danced with her and she would ask, “How are you?”

If Zanna had been Miss Moneypenny, perhaps Bond would have retired a long time ago. 

From Kimmy Beach's The Last Temptation of Bond
The World is Not Enough

I SEE HIM EVERY DAY, But she can have him anytime she likes.


He comes into my office, tosses his hat on the rack, embraces

Me. His lips on my cheek, his eyelashes brushing mine. He says,

“Moneypenny, what would I do without you?”


I honestly don’t know. I’ve saved him repeatedly. I’ve made so many excuses for him!



I have everything. But I have such longing. Such…I’d let myself be

killed for one night with him above me, inside me, all over me.



There is so much darkness at my core. Darkness I cannot confess

to myself, never mind to him. The horrifying thoughts I have of

pulling his gun from its holster while he is embracing me. I don’t

want him to know this darkness, this desire that consumes me.

This temptation to pull that gun from his body, shoot him in the

Chest. In the place where a heart would be. The next shot for me.



I want to cut him limb to limb. I want him to bend to my knife, let

his open veins come all over me. Then I’d cut my own heart in half.

There’s no other way for us.



There’s my intercom. M and the bloody demands. Just once I’d

like to tell M to stuff it, but I like my job. I like the people. I like
the secrecy. And I hate James


The Last Temptation of Bond



     

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I Am A Manichee

Joel Adria, 23, Floor Director - Helen Lawrence

Pascal's Wager, Prayer & Buster Crabbe

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Holly McCrea - Model - Poet - Creation Conduit.

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I Am Abraham & Mileage On Twitter With Old Photogr...

Tit for Tat - Me & My Sensitive Nipples

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8/14/16 - 8/21/16

8/21/16 - 8/28/16

8/28/16 - 9/4/16

9/4/16 - 9/11/16

9/11/16 - 9/18/16

9/18/16 - 9/25/16

9/25/16 - 10/2/16

10/2/16 - 10/9/16

10/9/16 - 10/16/16

10/16/16 - 10/23/16

10/23/16 - 10/30/16

10/30/16 - 11/6/16

11/6/16 - 11/13/16

11/13/16 - 11/20/16

11/20/16 - 11/27/16

11/27/16 - 12/4/16

12/4/16 - 12/11/16

12/11/16 - 12/18/16

12/18/16 - 12/25/16

12/25/16 - 1/1/17

1/1/17 - 1/8/17

1/8/17 - 1/15/17

1/15/17 - 1/22/17

1/22/17 - 1/29/17

1/29/17 - 2/5/17

2/5/17 - 2/12/17

2/12/17 - 2/19/17

2/19/17 - 2/26/17

2/26/17 - 3/5/17

3/5/17 - 3/12/17

3/12/17 - 3/19/17

3/19/17 - 3/26/17

3/26/17 - 4/2/17

4/2/17 - 4/9/17

4/9/17 - 4/16/17

4/16/17 - 4/23/17

4/23/17 - 4/30/17

4/30/17 - 5/7/17

5/7/17 - 5/14/17

5/14/17 - 5/21/17

5/21/17 - 5/28/17

5/28/17 - 6/4/17

6/4/17 - 6/11/17

6/11/17 - 6/18/17

6/18/17 - 6/25/17

6/25/17 - 7/2/17

7/2/17 - 7/9/17

7/9/17 - 7/16/17

7/16/17 - 7/23/17

7/23/17 - 7/30/17

7/30/17 - 8/6/17

8/6/17 - 8/13/17

8/13/17 - 8/20/17

8/20/17 - 8/27/17

8/27/17 - 9/3/17

9/3/17 - 9/10/17

9/10/17 - 9/17/17

9/17/17 - 9/24/17

9/24/17 - 10/1/17

10/1/17 - 10/8/17

10/8/17 - 10/15/17

10/15/17 - 10/22/17

10/22/17 - 10/29/17

10/29/17 - 11/5/17

11/5/17 - 11/12/17

11/12/17 - 11/19/17

11/19/17 - 11/26/17

11/26/17 - 12/3/17

12/3/17 - 12/10/17

12/10/17 - 12/17/17

12/17/17 - 12/24/17

12/24/17 - 12/31/17

12/31/17 - 1/7/18

1/7/18 - 1/14/18

1/14/18 - 1/21/18

1/21/18 - 1/28/18

1/28/18 - 2/4/18

2/4/18 - 2/11/18

2/11/18 - 2/18/18

2/18/18 - 2/25/18

2/25/18 - 3/4/18

3/4/18 - 3/11/18

3/11/18 - 3/18/18

3/18/18 - 3/25/18

3/25/18 - 4/1/18

4/1/18 - 4/8/18

4/8/18 - 4/15/18

4/15/18 - 4/22/18

4/22/18 - 4/29/18

4/29/18 - 5/6/18

5/6/18 - 5/13/18

5/13/18 - 5/20/18

5/20/18 - 5/27/18

5/27/18 - 6/3/18

6/3/18 - 6/10/18

6/10/18 - 6/17/18

6/17/18 - 6/24/18

6/24/18 - 7/1/18

7/1/18 - 7/8/18

7/8/18 - 7/15/18

7/15/18 - 7/22/18

7/22/18 - 7/29/18

7/29/18 - 8/5/18

8/5/18 - 8/12/18

8/12/18 - 8/19/18

8/19/18 - 8/26/18

8/26/18 - 9/2/18

9/2/18 - 9/9/18

9/9/18 - 9/16/18

9/16/18 - 9/23/18

9/23/18 - 9/30/18

9/30/18 - 10/7/18

10/7/18 - 10/14/18

10/14/18 - 10/21/18

10/21/18 - 10/28/18

10/28/18 - 11/4/18

11/4/18 - 11/11/18

11/11/18 - 11/18/18

11/18/18 - 11/25/18

11/25/18 - 12/2/18

12/2/18 - 12/9/18

12/9/18 - 12/16/18

12/16/18 - 12/23/18

12/23/18 - 12/30/18

12/30/18 - 1/6/19

1/6/19 - 1/13/19

1/13/19 - 1/20/19

1/20/19 - 1/27/19

1/27/19 - 2/3/19

2/3/19 - 2/10/19

2/10/19 - 2/17/19

2/17/19 - 2/24/19

3/3/19 - 3/10/19

3/10/19 - 3/17/19

3/17/19 - 3/24/19

3/24/19 - 3/31/19

3/31/19 - 4/7/19

4/7/19 - 4/14/19

4/14/19 - 4/21/19

4/21/19 - 4/28/19

4/28/19 - 5/5/19

5/5/19 - 5/12/19

5/12/19 - 5/19/19

5/19/19 - 5/26/19

5/26/19 - 6/2/19

6/2/19 - 6/9/19

6/9/19 - 6/16/19

6/16/19 - 6/23/19

6/23/19 - 6/30/19

6/30/19 - 7/7/19

7/7/19 - 7/14/19

7/14/19 - 7/21/19

7/21/19 - 7/28/19

7/28/19 - 8/4/19

8/4/19 - 8/11/19

8/11/19 - 8/18/19

8/18/19 - 8/25/19

8/25/19 - 9/1/19

9/1/19 - 9/8/19

9/8/19 - 9/15/19

9/15/19 - 9/22/19

9/22/19 - 9/29/19

9/29/19 - 10/6/19

10/6/19 - 10/13/19

10/13/19 - 10/20/19

10/20/19 - 10/27/19

10/27/19 - 11/3/19

11/3/19 - 11/10/19

11/10/19 - 11/17/19

11/17/19 - 11/24/19

11/24/19 - 12/1/19

12/1/19 - 12/8/19

12/8/19 - 12/15/19

12/15/19 - 12/22/19

12/22/19 - 12/29/19

12/29/19 - 1/5/20

1/5/20 - 1/12/20

1/12/20 - 1/19/20

1/19/20 - 1/26/20

1/26/20 - 2/2/20

2/2/20 - 2/9/20

2/9/20 - 2/16/20

2/16/20 - 2/23/20

2/23/20 - 3/1/20

3/1/20 - 3/8/20

3/8/20 - 3/15/20

3/15/20 - 3/22/20

3/22/20 - 3/29/20

3/29/20 - 4/5/20

4/5/20 - 4/12/20

4/12/20 - 4/19/20

4/19/20 - 4/26/20

4/26/20 - 5/3/20

5/3/20 - 5/10/20

5/10/20 - 5/17/20

5/17/20 - 5/24/20

5/24/20 - 5/31/20

5/31/20 - 6/7/20

6/7/20 - 6/14/20

6/14/20 - 6/21/20

6/21/20 - 6/28/20

6/28/20 - 7/5/20

7/12/20 - 7/19/20

7/19/20 - 7/26/20

7/26/20 - 8/2/20

8/2/20 - 8/9/20

8/9/20 - 8/16/20

8/16/20 - 8/23/20

8/23/20 - 8/30/20

8/30/20 - 9/6/20

9/6/20 - 9/13/20

9/13/20 - 9/20/20

9/20/20 - 9/27/20

9/27/20 - 10/4/20

10/4/20 - 10/11/20

10/11/20 - 10/18/20

10/18/20 - 10/25/20

10/25/20 - 11/1/20

11/1/20 - 11/8/20

11/8/20 - 11/15/20

11/15/20 - 11/22/20

11/22/20 - 11/29/20

11/29/20 - 12/6/20

12/6/20 - 12/13/20

12/13/20 - 12/20/20

12/20/20 - 12/27/20

12/27/20 - 1/3/21

1/3/21 - 1/10/21

1/17/21 - 1/24/21

1/24/21 - 1/31/21

2/7/21 - 2/14/21

2/14/21 - 2/21/21

2/21/21 - 2/28/21

2/28/21 - 3/7/21

3/7/21 - 3/14/21

3/14/21 - 3/21/21

3/21/21 - 3/28/21

3/28/21 - 4/4/21

4/4/21 - 4/11/21

4/11/21 - 4/18/21

4/18/21 - 4/25/21

4/25/21 - 5/2/21

5/2/21 - 5/9/21

5/9/21 - 5/16/21

5/16/21 - 5/23/21

5/30/21 - 6/6/21

6/6/21 - 6/13/21

6/13/21 - 6/20/21

6/20/21 - 6/27/21

6/27/21 - 7/4/21

7/4/21 - 7/11/21

7/11/21 - 7/18/21

7/18/21 - 7/25/21

7/25/21 - 8/1/21

8/1/21 - 8/8/21

8/8/21 - 8/15/21

8/15/21 - 8/22/21

8/22/21 - 8/29/21

8/29/21 - 9/5/21

9/5/21 - 9/12/21

9/12/21 - 9/19/21

9/19/21 - 9/26/21

9/26/21 - 10/3/21

10/3/21 - 10/10/21

10/10/21 - 10/17/21

10/17/21 - 10/24/21

10/24/21 - 10/31/21

10/31/21 - 11/7/21

11/7/21 - 11/14/21

11/14/21 - 11/21/21

11/21/21 - 11/28/21

11/28/21 - 12/5/21

12/5/21 - 12/12/21

12/12/21 - 12/19/21

12/19/21 - 12/26/21

12/26/21 - 1/2/22

1/2/22 - 1/9/22

1/9/22 - 1/16/22

1/16/22 - 1/23/22

1/23/22 - 1/30/22

1/30/22 - 2/6/22

2/6/22 - 2/13/22

2/13/22 - 2/20/22

2/20/22 - 2/27/22

2/27/22 - 3/6/22

3/6/22 - 3/13/22

3/13/22 - 3/20/22

3/20/22 - 3/27/22

3/27/22 - 4/3/22

4/3/22 - 4/10/22

4/10/22 - 4/17/22

4/17/22 - 4/24/22

4/24/22 - 5/1/22

5/1/22 - 5/8/22

5/8/22 - 5/15/22

5/15/22 - 5/22/22

5/22/22 - 5/29/22

5/29/22 - 6/5/22

6/26/22 - 7/3/22

7/3/22 - 7/10/22

7/10/22 - 7/17/22

7/17/22 - 7/24/22

7/24/22 - 7/31/22

7/31/22 - 8/7/22

8/7/22 - 8/14/22

8/14/22 - 8/21/22

8/21/22 - 8/28/22

8/28/22 - 9/4/22

9/4/22 - 9/11/22

9/11/22 - 9/18/22

9/18/22 - 9/25/22

9/25/22 - 10/2/22

10/2/22 - 10/9/22

10/9/22 - 10/16/22

10/16/22 - 10/23/22

10/23/22 - 10/30/22

10/30/22 - 11/6/22

11/6/22 - 11/13/22

11/13/22 - 11/20/22

11/20/22 - 11/27/22

11/27/22 - 12/4/22

12/4/22 - 12/11/22

12/18/22 - 12/25/22

12/25/22 - 1/1/23

1/1/23 - 1/8/23

1/15/23 - 1/22/23

1/22/23 - 1/29/23

1/29/23 - 2/5/23

2/5/23 - 2/12/23

2/12/23 - 2/19/23

2/19/23 - 2/26/23

2/26/23 - 3/5/23

3/5/23 - 3/12/23

3/12/23 - 3/19/23

3/19/23 - 3/26/23

3/26/23 - 4/2/23

4/2/23 - 4/9/23

4/9/23 - 4/16/23

4/16/23 - 4/23/23

4/23/23 - 4/30/23

4/30/23 - 5/7/23

5/7/23 - 5/14/23

5/14/23 - 5/21/23

5/21/23 - 5/28/23

5/28/23 - 6/4/23

6/4/23 - 6/11/23

6/11/23 - 6/18/23

6/18/23 - 6/25/23

6/25/23 - 7/2/23

7/2/23 - 7/9/23

7/9/23 - 7/16/23

7/16/23 - 7/23/23

7/23/23 - 7/30/23

7/30/23 - 8/6/23

8/6/23 - 8/13/23

8/13/23 - 8/20/23

8/20/23 - 8/27/23

8/27/23 - 9/3/23

9/3/23 - 9/10/23

9/10/23 - 9/17/23

9/17/23 - 9/24/23

9/24/23 - 10/1/23

10/1/23 - 10/8/23

10/8/23 - 10/15/23

10/22/23 - 10/29/23

10/29/23 - 11/5/23

11/5/23 - 11/12/23

11/12/23 - 11/19/23

11/19/23 - 11/26/23

11/26/23 - 12/3/23

12/3/23 - 12/10/23

12/10/23 - 12/17/23

12/17/23 - 12/24/23

12/24/23 - 12/31/23

12/31/23 - 1/7/24

1/7/24 - 1/14/24

1/14/24 - 1/21/24

1/21/24 - 1/28/24

1/28/24 - 2/4/24

2/4/24 - 2/11/24

2/11/24 - 2/18/24

2/18/24 - 2/25/24

2/25/24 - 3/3/24

3/3/24 - 3/10/24

3/10/24 - 3/17/24

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3/24/24 - 3/31/24

3/31/24 - 4/7/24

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4/14/24 - 4/21/24

4/21/24 - 4/28/24

4/28/24 - 5/5/24

5/5/24 - 5/12/24

5/12/24 - 5/19/24

5/19/24 - 5/26/24

5/26/24 - 6/2/24

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6/23/24 - 6/30/24

6/30/24 - 7/7/24

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7/14/24 - 7/21/24

7/21/24 - 7/28/24

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8/11/24 - 8/18/24

8/18/24 - 8/25/24

8/25/24 - 9/1/24

9/1/24 - 9/8/24

9/15/24 - 9/22/24

9/22/24 - 9/29/24

9/29/24 - 10/6/24

10/6/24 - 10/13/24

10/13/24 - 10/20/24

10/20/24 - 10/27/24

10/27/24 - 11/3/24

11/3/24 - 11/10/24

11/10/24 - 11/17/24

11/17/24 - 11/24/24

11/24/24 - 12/1/24

12/1/24 - 12/8/24

12/8/24 - 12/15/24