Looking Back at 2018Monday, December 31, 2018
If there is any expression, overused in 2018, that has grated my nerves to the utmost, that has to be “move forward.” This expression is a favourite of politicians.
Obviously crabs will never make it in politics.
One of the least understood chess moves by those who do not know chess is called En passant. And chess castling also involves chess pieces that move sideways.
All those end-of-the year picture essays and or articles called “the year in review”, etc I avoid like the bubonic plague. Perhaps it is because I “look forward”.
And yet in these last days of 2018 I must reflect and I think of all my friends and relatives who died or who have disappeared. In particular I think of my friend and mentor Raúl Guerrero Montemayor, who days before he died and already in his deathbed he cried as he explained to me that he never did take the plunge to be who he was, a gay man. I do not think I could be staring at the ceiling in my deathbed and cursing my regrets.
Yesterday, December 30th I felt a small tightening in my chest which I dissipated with a large glass of fizzy pop (it works every time). With the lights out I asked my Rosemary if she planned to hold my hand as I lie in bed in my last minutes of life. She answered, “Yes,” and I fell asleep.
The end of the year is not a time to be morose. It is a time not “to move forward” but to remain enthusiastic about being alive even if that means pulling a crab.
Our granddaughter Rebecca texted early today to tell us she was much too tired to have lunch with us at her fave Cactus Club. Rosemary and I, without really consulting each other because we were bang on what we were going to do, went to the Superstore and purchased stuff that we knew would make Rebecca happy. We went to her and dropped off the stuff. Without asking she placed a cup of coffee with lots of whipped cream in front of me.
We left with satisfied smiles knowing this is what makes life worth living. That my Rosemary and I both agree is what makes it all that more wonderful.
As we drove back I told her that I had no desire to go shopping at a bookstore or a camera store. I told her I was satisfied with my computer as it is. Who cares if it is a tad slow! Not wanting stuff is a way to diminish ones desire to consume. We can now spend time consulting with our cats and perhaps find out what it is that makes them avoid stress.
I look forward to traveling places with my best travel partner, my Rosemary. No stress will be upon us with cats. We will place them for a vacation at the Kerrisdale Feline Hilton on West Boulevard. We will lock up our little duplex and perhaps have some lemon sherbet in Mérida.
One of the best moments of 2018 came when I found out that any image of mine that I saw on my monitor would print exactly as I see it minutes later. With not too much Catholic guilt involved I will have to adjust to the fact that some things in life can be easy.
As for the justification behind posting the photograph of Lizbit here? The answer is an easy one. I am simply looking back as I prepare to move forward in 2019.