Rosemary My RosemaryTuesday, August 26, 2014
Of navigating waters, my stint in the Argentine Navy taught me nothing. In fact I was rudderless, lost at sea when I first met Rosemary Healey in Mexico City in early 1968. I remember her getting into my Volkswagen, sitting on her legs (amazing her legs were) and saying something like this to me, “Let’s talk about relationships.”
I had met passionate but light headed Latins (Argentines, Uruguayans, and Mexicans) but this was my first experience of facing someone from my father’s English side. I was not ready for quick decision making, thinking about the future and not just living the happy-go-lucky method of the irresponsible Latin man.
My Rosemary was hermetic then and hermetic now.
[It is a curious experience of late that I have begun to use big words I never used before while I cannot remember the easier words.]
By hermetic I mean that I know almost nothing about her past. I know little of her childhood, of her boyfriends. She works in strange ways. Today at the Superstore she did that most womanly action that so infuriates me. As I was putting our purchases on the teller’s checkout she went in search of a lady razor. She had previously asked me if I wanted some Pringles. I had nodded negatively. She came back just as I was beginning to see the long line-up behind me with a can of Pringles in her hand. Later on I enquired and she told me, “I thought Lauren,12, would like them.” Women work in strange and roundabout ways and it would seem that Rosemary is no exception.
Our first years of marriage were difficult in our innocence of not knowing how important having money was. I knew that many times Rosemary would serve me a steak while confessing to me that she was not hungry so she had none for herself.
Living with a mother-in-law can be a difficult thing even if the mother-in-law in question happens to be my mother. But Rosemary and my mother adored each other. When we were going through financial difficulties my mother sold her beloved piano to help us. She would not have done this just for me. I know that.
Rosemary saw that the political atmosphere of Mexico was deteriorating and one day she told me, “I think we should move to Canada. It will be a better place for our two daughters.” She later added to this, “We will send our belongings by movers but we will drive to Vancouver in our VW.” She had informed me that I would not like the snow of Toronto and that her favourite city Quebec City would be an imposition on my not knowing any French. She had opted then for an unseen Vancouver.
As I look back to all of this and of my life with Rosemary for 47 years I cannot see how anything could have turned out better than it has. Today she told me that I resent the fact that we have little money. I was unable to convince her that we have so much more than money could possibly buy.
She is already thinking of the future. I am sure that decisions are being made by this woman who has worn the financial pants since we got married. Whatever it is I am sure that in the end it will all work out for the better.