Rosemary My Rosemary
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
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| Rosemary - 1979 |
Of navigating waters,
my stint in the Argentine Navy taught me nothing. In fact I was rudderless,
lost at sea when I first met Rosemary Healey in Mexico City in late 1967. I remember her
getting into my Volkswagen, sitting on her legs (amazing her legs were) and
saying something like this to me, “Let’s talk about relationships.”
I had met passionate
but light headed Latins (Argentines, Uruguayans, and Mexicans) but this was my
first experience of facing someone from my father’s English side. I was not
ready for quick decision making, thinking about the future and not just living
the happy-go-lucky method of the irresponsible Latin man.
My Rosemary was
hermetic then and hermetic now.
[It is a curious
experience of late that I have begun to use big words I never used before while
I cannot remember the easier words.]
By hermetic I mean
that I know almost nothing about her past. I know little of her childhood, of
her boyfriends. She works in strange ways.
Today at the Superstore she did that most womanly action that so infuriates
me. As I was putting our purchases on the teller’s checkout she went in search
of a lady razor. She had previously asked me if I wanted some Pringles. I had
nodded negatively. She came back just as I was beginning to see the long line-up
behind me with a can of Pringles in her hand. Later on I enquired and she told
me, “I thought Lauren,12, would like them.” Women work in strange and
roundabout ways and it would seem that Rosemary is no exception.
Our first years of
marriage were difficult in our innocence of not knowing how important having
money was. I knew that many times Rosemary would serve me a steak while
confessing to me that she was not hungry so she had none for herself.
Living with a
mother-in-law can be a difficult thing even if the mother-in-law in question
happens to be my mother. But Rosemary and my mother adored each other. When we
were going through financial difficulties my mother sold her beloved piano to help
us. She would not have done this just for me. I know that.
Rosemary saw that the
political atmosphere of Mexico
was deteriorating and one day she told me, “I think we should move to Canada. It will
be a better place for our two daughters.” She later added to this, “We will
send our belongings by movers but we will drive to Vancouver in our VW.” She had informed me that I would not like the
snow of Toronto and that her favourite city Quebec City would be an
imposition on my not knowing any French. She had opted then for an unseen Vancouver.
As I look back to all
of this and of my life with Rosemary for 47 years I cannot see how anything
could have turned out better than it has. Today she told me that I resent the
fact that we have little money. I was unable to convince her that we have so
much more than money could possibly buy.
She is already
thinking of the future. I am sure that decisions are being made by this woman
who has worn the financial pants since we got married. Whatever it is I am sure
that in the end it will all work out for the better.
