That Gluteus maximusWednesday, June 08, 2016
I don’t remember when I last heard this: “A woman is as old as she looks and a man is old when he stops looking.”
Every time I visit my native city of Buenos Aires (the last time was in early April of this year) I am shocked on how sexist my male counterparts are there. Women in bikinis still sell beer or toothpaste. When I try to ask nephews why it is they do not find this sort of advertising offensive they jokingly question my preferred sexuality. I tell them how advance we are with this sort of thing in Canada. They reply they would never want to live in such a place.
Consider that three years ago the then female President, Cristina Fernández de Kirchner appeared in a TV interview wearing black calzas largas (tight yoga pants) there was a minor scandal. I was there when that happened and I found it very funny. In Vancouver many women wear those yoga pants (little is left to the imagination) but we do have some sort of restraint and Crispy Crunch would never wear them in public!
All of the above is but an introduction to what here in Vancouver might be seen as a sensitive topic. This is the fact that this almost 74 year-old man is going bananas not to notice all the women wearing shorts with the recent hot weather.
My granddaughters have told me that the dress code in school is that a girl has to stand up and lower her arms. Shorts cannot be shorter than the tip of the hands.
I have been noticing how this rule does not seem to apply to young women not going to school. What am I to do? Must I not turn around or look in any direction except in front when I am driving? You cannot text and drive. I don’t. But is there a summer bylaw in Vancouver prohibiting reacting to the distraction of women in shorts?
This brings me to Tarren. I have written before (but I will write about it here again) how coming back in a de Havilland Beaver from a shoot for the CBC in Egmont one afternoon the pilot suddenly jerked the plane and we lost altitude as we were about to land in Coal Harbour. Somehow he gained control and the landing was smooth. As we deplaned we were greeted by a beautiful woman with a melodious voice (Mae West would have been jealous)”who said, “High Alex!” She was wearing red satin short shorts or hot pants. It seems that both of those terms have disappeared as shorts are now all short. The pilot said something like this to me, “You know her? She is why we almost crashed.”
Not too long after, Tarren posed for me in my Burnaby studio with our cat Gaticuchi and she wore those red satin shorts.
And going to the close, I must point out that in my many years of studying the female form, Tarren not only had grand legs but she also (and this is most important if you want to wear shorts) had the most magnificent gluteus maximus I have ever seen.
At this point I know my Argentine nephews would nod in approval.