Why bother?
Wednesday, February 26, 2020
Deidre Thomas, 12:55 Sunday April 6 1997 |
“Why bother “thinning” your archive, it’s all going to end
up in the bin.”
“No hay mal
que por bien no venga.”
“Every cloud has a silver lining.”
A Newyorican friend’s comment about not bothering to thin
out my archives bothered me to no end. It was his response to this blog.
It was four years ago when Rosemary sold our big Kerrisdale
home and moved to our present duplex in Kitsilano. Before we moved I attempted
to give some of my 5000 books away. It was so stressful that I ended up going
in our Malibu late at night to nearby construction bins and throwing books or
obsolete photographic equipment like Polaroid instant slide processors.
I distinctly remember looking at a copy of Dostoyevsky’s stories
and saying out loud to myself, “Goodbye sir it has been fun.”
The move was heart wrenching. Rosemary’s knee failed and she
had to have a replacement. My eldest daughter Ale, who helped us, has had a bad
back since. I am on a waiting list to replace my right knee.
Legacy is a word I try not to think about. What to do with
almost 10 year’s worth of CBC variety show, radio and TV announcers
photographs?
Do I want Rosemary to install a park bench somewhere in
Vancouver with a plaque that reads, “In memory of my dear husband.”?
Nobody except me knows how large my archives are. Few would
know that I wrote many articles and book reviews for the Vancouver Sun, Province
and the Globe and Mail.
At the very least finding them and filing them gives me the
opportunity to reflect on my past life which will perhaps give me an
indication, reason, and purpose on how to proceed with the little time that is
left.
As my Newyorican friend suggests to not bother, at the very
least I will make those who throw my stuff into bins have fewer trips as it
will all be compacted.
But in my anger overnight at the damning comment I realized
that finding the Globe and Mail tear sheet on the reading-across-Canada project
gives me the delight of going to the Burrard Reserve in North Vancouver in the
next few days with the oval-shaped snap of then 8-year-old Deidre Thomas who
now would be 31 with the hope that someone may find her.
Had I thrown all those tear sheets into the bin without
examining them first that pleasure would not happen.
My initial anger at my friend's remarks enabled me to think all this through. Thank you.