Saturday, October 11, 2025

Rosa 'Alain Blanchard' & Hosta 'Forbidden Fruit' 11 October 2025

 

In Mexico my friend and mentor Raúl Guerrero Montemayor used to often tell me of one of his favourite songs, Autumn Leaves, which in Spanish he called Las Hojas Muertas. This was the originally composed in France in 1945.

I first met Raúl in 1967 when I had just returned from my military service in 1967. I did not know what to do with my life. He suggested I teach English and taught me the Berlitz method. It was leaving a school where he had gotten me into when I first spotted my Rosemary on 15 December 1967. We were married 8 December 1968.

 

Raúl & Alex - Veracruz, Mexico 1968

 

He was a huge influence in my life.

Today I scanned some fall plants and I wondered what kind of blog I could write using the scan as an illustration. I went to Google and looked up the lyrics in English to the song and particularly the version sung by Johnny Mathis which was Raúl’s favourite.

 Autum Leaves

The falling leaves drift by the window

The autumn leaves of red and gold

I see your lips, the summer kisses

The sun-burned hands I used to hold

 

Since you went away the days grow long

And soon I'll hear old winter's song

But I miss you most of all my darling

When autumn leaves start to fall.

 

"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it" Neil deGrasse Tyson

To calculate the volume of a cone with calculus, use the disk method, which involves summing up the volumes of infinitesimally thin disks from the base to the apex. First, set up the integral using the equation for the radius \(y\) of each disk at a given height \(x\). For a cone with radius \(r\) and height \(h\), the radius of a disk at height \(x\) is \(y=\frac{r}{h}x\). The volume is then found by integrating the area of these disks, \(A(x)=\pi y^{2}\), from the base (\(x=0\)) to the top (\(x=h\)), which gives the formula \(V=\int _{0}^{h}\pi (\frac{r}{h}x)^{2}dx\). Illustrated in above diagram.

 

My mother taught physics, chemistry and mathematics in high school in Buenos Aires and in Mexico City until she moved to Nueva Rosita, Coahuila where she taught the whole curriculum to the 6^th, 7^th and 8^th grades in a one room schoolhouse. I was one of six boys in the 8^th grade.

In 1962 I learned integral and differential calculus and my world was never the same again. My Eureka moment happened when I learned two ways of calculating the volume of a cone. In the second method, not illustrated here, you rotate a triangle (from the base of the cone to the tip) 360 degrees.

The Hypar

All the above is to cement that I trust science but opt for using the words chemistry and physics as science now is a word as empty of meaning as iconic and clinically proven.

In the late 40 and 50 in Buenos Aires, I feared a particular vaccine. It was the one for diphtheria. What was unique about this vaccine is that it was administered on the spinal column. Since then I have been terrified of hypodermic needles, and not too long ago, I fainted when I went for a blood test and saw the blood being taken out.

This does not mean that I do not believe in vaccination. I am getting both the latest covid and influenza vaccines in a few days.

When I was learning the calculus my chemistry book was authored by Linus Pauling. Perhaps because I admired the man and I have been taking 2000 mg of Vitamin C every morning since covid began I have been free of the disease.

I have a first cousin who lives in Florida that used to send me covid vaccine conspiracy theory email plus would tell me that covid was a bad cold. I did not have the heart to tell him that I have a friend in Barcelona who has suffered an almost five-year long covid.

Yes I “believe” in science.

 

Friday, October 10, 2025

Jo-Ann & Yuliya

 

In my current vein of contrasting and comparing words in Spanish and in English, I came up with a synonym of joy in Spanish which is júbilo. It originated from the Latin iubilum which in its verb form iubilare means to cry in joy. I then associated all that with the Spanish to retire which is to jubilar. I am a jubilado (retiree). Do retirees cry in joy?

In my past, in that other century, I had a gig with Canadian Pacific Limited. I photographed trucks, trains, airplanes. That was fun. But I also had to do retirements. These were depressing events in which men who might have worked for 50 years were given a watch and or a rocking chair. I hated going to them but Rosemary would look at me with “we need the money” eyes.

All the above is but a prelude to the idea that a photographer (me) is not all that happy about being retired. My sense of utility or usefulness is simply not there. Yes, my cats have to be fed and yes, Niño needs his daily walk.

There is one solution to that retired conundrum and that is to keep creating challenges by finding ways of writing stuff like this or the idea that photographically I can still push myself (no art director to do that anymore) to limits of what I can do.

That happened today when I thought of my sense of emptiness in living without my Rosemary. I wrote the blog (link below). I thought on how I was going to illustrate it. I came up with the idea of an empty glass without any water. In it I placed an inkjet transparency of Rosemary and scanned it. It was lovely. But I have to be truthful in that I was not sure this would work so I tried it first with a shot of my two friend Jo-Anne and Yuliya who posed for me in my old studio. 

My Emptiness

I was very happy with the result. Tomorrow will bring more inspiration to push the envelope for this jubilado.                                

 

 

In Spanish “no es” translates to “she isn’t”. “No está” becomes “she is not here”. That dual meaning of “to be” in Spanish for a person who speaks it, and thinks it (me), becomes, more intense. This is especially the case as I rot on my bed in the morning with Niño and Niña and my peripheral vision senses that empty spot on the bed on my right that used to be Rosemary’s.

With fall here, I have been thinking that you look at spring and summer as something that is going to happen, that  it is coming. But with fall and winter, it is about something going away, even of it being taken away. That is why when the season changes, now that it is fall, I feel that going away of someone who was always here for me.

Fortunately my two cats provide me with a needed warmth and cuddling. Every once in a while, randomly I loudly say, “Rosemary!” They do not respond. Are they lucky to not remember?

Empty my Heart, of Thee Emily Dickinson

587

Empty my Heart, of Thee —

Its single Artery —

Begin, and leave Thee out —

Simply Extinction's Date —

 

Much Billow hath the Sea —

One Baltic — They —

Subtract Thyself, in play,

And not enough of me

Is left — to put away —

"Myself" meanth Thee —

 

Erase the Root — no Tree —

Thee — then — no me —

The Heavens stripped —

Eternity's vas pocket, picked —

Thursday, October 09, 2025

Rosemary with Alexandra in pram by American Embassy - Mexico City 1968

Tenía 6 años cuando al verme en un espejo en Buenos Aires pensé, “Ese soy yo.”

I was 6 years old when I looked at myself in a mirror and I thought, “That is me.”

Desde ese primer momento, cada vez que me veo en un espejo (lo hago a menudo ya que me atraen los espejos igual que a Borges) es como si fuera por la primera vez.

From that first moment, every time I see myself in a mirror (I do that frequently as I like mirrors as much as Borges did), it seems like it is that first time.

Aunque hay mucha crítica por los medios sociales en este siglo, aprecio la inteligencia artificial y sus algoritmos, en este caso, Twitter/X, que sabe lo que me gusta y tengo diarias entradas a videos y poesías de Borges.

Even though there is much criticism for the AI algorithms of social media in this century, I appreciate, and in this case in Twitter/X, that it seems to know what I like and I have daily Jorge Luís Borges poems and videos to my disposal.

Hace unos días vi una poesía de él llamada La Dicha. La voy a poner a continuación en inglés y en castellano. La poesía nos dice, filosóficamente que todo lo que hacemos por primera vez lo seguimos haciendo otra vez por primera vez.

A few days ago I noticed a Borges poem called Joy. It has the startling philosophic idea that everything we do for the first time we keep repeating for the first time.

Tengo una colección enorme de la obra de Jorge Luís Borges pero mi memoria me falla y no me acuerdo haber leído La Dicha.

I have a very large collection of Jorge Luís Borges’s literary output but my memory fails me if I ever read Joy.

Creo que el cuento El Aleph realmente es  una versión literaria de las teorías de Albert Einstein y el infinito.

El Aleph - en los escalones de mi casa 

I believe that the Borges story El Aleph is really a literary version of Albert Einstein’s theories on the infinite.

The Aleph in the steps of my home 

Despúes de haber leido La Dicha me encuentro que mi vista del mundo que me rodea ha cambiado. ¿És posible que a mis 83 años contados algo tan importante me ha afectado?

After having read Joy I find that my view of the world that surrounds me has changed. Is it possible that at my ripe old age of 83 something this important has affected me?

Porque vivo en un mundo anglocéntrico sufro no poder intercambiar lo que sé de Borges aquí en mi Vancouver.

Because I live in an Anglocentric world here in Vancouver, I suffer in not knowing anybody with whom I can share my inquietudes. Inquietudes is a word in Spanish that has to do with not being satisfied with things as they are and that one wants more.

Como soy fotógrafo, y me dedico especialmente al retrato, La Dicha sugiere que cada vez que tomo fotos de mis dos hijas, dos nietas (mi Rosemary falleció hace 5 años) lo estoy haciendo por primera vez. ¿Será posible?

Because I am a photographer who specializes in portraits, Joy means that every time I photograph my two daughters and two granddaughters (my wife Rosemary died 5 years ago) I am doing so for the first time. Is that possible?

La razón por la cual uso uno foto de mi Rosemary aquí en esta bitácora es que la primera vez que la vi en 1967 lo primero que noté fueron sus lindas piernas. Desde esa fecha ahora sé que al verlas, cada ves, siempre las vi por primera vez.

The reason I am illustrating this blog with a photograph of my Rosemary is that the first time I saw her on December 15, 1967 what I noticed first were her lovely legs. From that moment on, every time I glanced at hel legs it must have been for the first time. 

Desde 1962 por dos años estudié filosofía con el catedrático barcelonés Ramón Xirau Subias en la ciudad de México. Ahora me doy cuenta que Borges es, efectivamente, un filósofo.

From 1962, for two years I studied philosophy in Mexico City with the now well known but gone Ramón Xirau Subias from Barcelona. Now I realize that Borges is, by any definition, also a philosopher.

¿Qué hubiese dicho Borges del curioso accidente que Xirau y su papá Ramón Xirau Palau tuvieron al llegar a México. Caminaban por la calle discutiendo algún tema importante y no escucharon la venida de un tranvía. Y así es como murió el padre.

What would Borges have made of the curious accident that Xirau and his father Ramón Xirau Palau suffered while chatting about some lofty subject. They did not hear the coming of a tram and that is how Xirau father died.

 

La Dicha – Jorge Luís Borges – 1975 (In English below this version in Spanish)

 

El que abraza a una mujer es Adán. La mujer es Eva.

Todo sucede por primera vez.

He visto una cosa blanca en el cielo. Me dicen que es la luna, pero

         qué puedo hacer con una palabra y con una mitología.

Los árboles me dan un poco de miedo. Son tan hermosos.

Los tranquilos animales se acercan para que yo les diga su nombre.

Los libros de la biblioteca no tienen letras. Cuando los abro surgen.

Al hojear el atlas proyecto la forma de Sumatra.

El que prende un fósforo en el oscuro está inventando el fuego.

En el espejo hay otro que acecha.

El que mira el mar ve a Inglaterra.

El que profiere un verso de Liliencron ha entrado en la batalla.

He soñado a Cartago y a las legiones que desolaron a Cartago.

He soñado la espada y la balanza.

Loado sea el amor en el que no hay poseedor ni poseída, pero los dos se entregan.

Loada sea la pesadilla, que nos revela que podemos crear el infierno.

El que desciende a un río desciende al Ganges.

El que mira un reloj de arena ve la disolución de un imperio.

El que juega con un puñal presagia la muerte de César.

El que duerme es todos los hombres.

En el desierto vi la joven Esfinge, que acaban de labrar.

Nada hay tan antiguo bajo el sol.

Todo sucede por primera vez, pero de un modo eterno.

El que lee mis palabras está inventándolas.

 

Joy – Jorge Luís Borges - 1975

 

Whoever embraces a woman is Adam. The woman is Eve.

Everything happens for the first time.

I saw something white in the sky. They tell me it is the moon, but

what can I do with a word and a mythology.

Trees frighten me a little. They are so beautiful.

The calm animals come closer so that I may tell them their names.

The books in the library have no letters. They spring forth when I open them.

Leafing through the atlas I project the shape of Sumatra.

Whoever lights a match in the dark is inventing fire.

Inside the mirror an Other waits in ambush.

Whoever looks at the ocean sees England.

Whoever utters a line of Liliencron has entered into battle.

I have dreamed Carthage and the legions that destroyed Carthage.

I have dreamed the sword and the scale.

Praised be the love wherein there is no possessor and no possessed, but both surrender.

Praised be the nightmare, which reveals to us that we have the power to create hell.

Whoever goes down to a river goes down to the Ganges.

Whoever looks at an hourglass sees the dissolution of an empire.

Whoever plays with a dagger foretells the death of Caesar.

Whoever dreams is every human being.

In the desert I saw the young Sphinx, which has just been sculpted.

There is nothing else so ancient under the sun.

Everything happens for the first time, but in a way that is eternal.

Whoever reads my words is inventing them.