Margo Kane - Fujiroid peel - 14 December 2024

February 2008

Without going into details, when minutes before Rosemary died, she asked, “Am I dying?” I can assert that my small family fractured.

Distractions like reading, taking photographs, scanning plants and experimenting with new methods by using my scanner help a bit.

The problem is that I no longer feel useful. With that said I have no doubt that my two cats need me (a friend in need is a friend indeed – that cliché). If I were to feel suicidal (I am not but I do think about it), I know I have to wait for Niño and Niña to die. Who would take care of them if I go first?

Two my granddaughters I am not a grandfather. I am just an old man.

But there are moments when I do feel some relief. That came when Margo Kane showed up today for her portrait. She wanted to get a new image for her Indigenous program being planned for March. I had previously photographed her in March 2008. The prospect of using the same film camera and a similar pose 16 years later excited me.

While I used my Mamiya RB-67 with the 90mm lens and 100ISO film I did take one photograph using my digital camera with the now tried and true procedure of  grossly underexposing the photograph by using a modelling light and my Fuji X-E3 set at 200ISO, 1/30 of a second and at the strange f-stop f-7.1.The result is an absolute black rectangle that I then treat with my 20-year-old Photoshop 8. The result has an odd colour (that I like) and digital noise that resembles that of fast film grain.

For the other two pictures I took, I used a Polaroid back for my Mamiya and I shot it with Fuji 100IS) instant film.

In that last century, after peeling the Polaroids we would throw the peels away. Alas that was a mistake we only corrected this century with a scanner! The process is to immediately place the peel on the scanner (if you wait the image fades) and rub it well onto the glass. Once scanned, I reverse it in Photoshop (or not).

So thank you Margo for making my day and giving me the idea that I may still be useful.