A THOUSAND WORDS - Alex Waterhouse-Hayward's blog on pictures, plants, politics and whatever else is on his mind.




 

When Dreams Are Broken
Tuesday, September 09, 2014


Lathyrus odoratus September 6, 2014

Afterglow
Jorge Luís Borges 1923

Siempre es conmovedor el ocaso

por indigente o charro que sea,

pero más conmovedor todavía

es aquel brillo desesperado y final

que herrumbra la llanura

cuando el sol último se ha hundido.

Nos duele sostener esa luz tirante y distinta,

esa alucinación que impone al espacio

el unánime miedo de la sombra

y que cesa de golpe

cuando notamos su falsía,

como cesan los sueños

cuando sabemos que soñamos.


Afterglow

Sunset is always disturbing

Whether theatrical or muted,

But still more disturbing

is that last desperate glow

that turns the plain to rust

when on the horizon nothing is left

of the pomp and clamor of the setting sun.

How hard holding on to that light, so tautly drawn and different,

That hallucination which the human fear of the dark

Imposes on space

And which ceases at once

The moment we realize its falsity,

The way a dream is broken

The moment the sleeper knows he is dreaming.

It is patently obvious that poets have a knack of telling us things that should be self evident. They are not. In the last few months I have been in turmoil thinking about that line (look it up in the English version above) so beautiful in Spanish:

como cesan los sueños

cuando sabemos que soñamos.

Dreams and dreaming have been especially with me in the last couple of years when old age finds ways of often interrupting my sleep. Going back to bed before that (after an occasional visit to the bathroom) I would think, “Death cannot be like sleep. The pleasure in sleeping is waking up or waking up in the middle of the night and knowing that I will sleep again, to wake again.” Death cannot thus be like sleep. It is terminal.

Consider Phillip K. Dick’s short story Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? One step further from that is, “Do we dream when we are dead?”

As an aside before I continue here is one of my fave sentences from Dick’s story:

“I like her; I could watch her the rest of my life. She has breasts that smile.”

That reminds me of my friend John Lekich once saying about Anne McAuley who worked at the Dianne Farris Gallery, “She is the only woman I know whose breasts blush.” We often visited the gallery but not to see the art on the wall.

My dreams are now more visceral. I remember more of them because I wake up more often. When I turn off the light at night I feel like I am in a film theatre. The lights fade, the curtain opens and who knows what will be projected?

I have nagging suspicions (not confirmed by research in the internet) that my dreams indicate an encroaching Alzheimer’s.

I sometimes wonder if looking back at memories, imagining the smell of sweet peas, or reading a book read more than once is not some variation of a dream.

As a little boy I lusted over Susan Stone. I was 9 so I had no idea what lusting was or meant. I would go to sleep and attempted to put myself in dreams where Susan was ever pleasant to me. These attempts never went anywhere because I invariably fell asleep. I learned then that dreams were random even though some of them happened after events of note and replicated them in some way. 




I could tell you that last night I dreamt that I was listening to Schmelzer’s Trio Sonatas as played by the London Baroque Orchestra while scanning Rosemary’s sweet peas. I could tell you that before that, when I knew I was going to scan the sweet peas that I went to my William Carlos Williams – Selected Poems to look for this one:

Smell!

Oh strong-ridged and deeply hollowed

nose of mine! what will you not be smelling?

What tactless asses we are, you and I, boney nose,

always indiscriminate, always unashamed,

and now it is the souring flowers of the bedraggled

poplars: a festering pulp on the wet earth

beneath them. With what deep thirst

we quicken our desires

to that rank odor of a passing springtime!

Can you not be decent? Can you not reserve your ardors

for something less unlovely? What girl will care

for us, do you think, if we continue in these ways?

Must you taste everything? Must you know everything?

Must you have a part in everything?

But no. I would be lying. To dream all of the above would be a dream that upon waking would vanish as only Borges knew, and so now, do I.

But all that does not prevent me from daydreaming about the smell of a sweet pea and why it is that although it does not have the complexity of a rose or a Southern Magnolia, they (the sweet peas) trump them all in reality and in that memory of my nose that Williams Carlos Williams so well defines.





     

Previous Posts
Happy Birthday Zippy!

Navigation - Origin Unknown

My Concours Rant

Último Sol En Villa Ortúzar

Rain Is A Thing That Happens In The Past

Texas - Jorge Luís Borges - I Dream Well There

Lorien & A Waning Summer

An Echo Of Selfies

The Philosopher King & The Philosopher Queen

Damnatio memoriae



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2/14/16 - 2/21/16

2/21/16 - 2/28/16

2/28/16 - 3/6/16

3/6/16 - 3/13/16

3/13/16 - 3/20/16

3/20/16 - 3/27/16

3/27/16 - 4/3/16

4/3/16 - 4/10/16

4/10/16 - 4/17/16

4/17/16 - 4/24/16

4/24/16 - 5/1/16

5/1/16 - 5/8/16

5/8/16 - 5/15/16

5/15/16 - 5/22/16

5/22/16 - 5/29/16

5/29/16 - 6/5/16

6/5/16 - 6/12/16

6/12/16 - 6/19/16

6/19/16 - 6/26/16

6/26/16 - 7/3/16

7/3/16 - 7/10/16

7/10/16 - 7/17/16

7/17/16 - 7/24/16

7/24/16 - 7/31/16

7/31/16 - 8/7/16

8/7/16 - 8/14/16

8/14/16 - 8/21/16

8/21/16 - 8/28/16

8/28/16 - 9/4/16

9/4/16 - 9/11/16

9/11/16 - 9/18/16

9/18/16 - 9/25/16

9/25/16 - 10/2/16

10/2/16 - 10/9/16

10/9/16 - 10/16/16

10/16/16 - 10/23/16

10/23/16 - 10/30/16

10/30/16 - 11/6/16

11/6/16 - 11/13/16

11/13/16 - 11/20/16

11/20/16 - 11/27/16

11/27/16 - 12/4/16

12/4/16 - 12/11/16

12/11/16 - 12/18/16

12/18/16 - 12/25/16

12/25/16 - 1/1/17

1/1/17 - 1/8/17

1/8/17 - 1/15/17

1/15/17 - 1/22/17

1/22/17 - 1/29/17

1/29/17 - 2/5/17

2/5/17 - 2/12/17

2/12/17 - 2/19/17

2/19/17 - 2/26/17

2/26/17 - 3/5/17

3/5/17 - 3/12/17

3/12/17 - 3/19/17

3/19/17 - 3/26/17

3/26/17 - 4/2/17

4/2/17 - 4/9/17

4/9/17 - 4/16/17

4/16/17 - 4/23/17

4/23/17 - 4/30/17

4/30/17 - 5/7/17

5/7/17 - 5/14/17

5/14/17 - 5/21/17

5/21/17 - 5/28/17

5/28/17 - 6/4/17

6/4/17 - 6/11/17

6/11/17 - 6/18/17

6/18/17 - 6/25/17

6/25/17 - 7/2/17

7/2/17 - 7/9/17

7/9/17 - 7/16/17

7/16/17 - 7/23/17

7/23/17 - 7/30/17

7/30/17 - 8/6/17

8/6/17 - 8/13/17

8/13/17 - 8/20/17