Exhalar El Fantasma
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
To give up the ghost
Is the task of the
living
to drink memories
from eyes
is the role of the
dead
Homero Aridjis
translated by George McWhirter from Poems for the Double
Five years ago my
friend Abraham Jedidiah Rogatnick died. A year before he had given me his Mexican papier-mâché
skeleton telling me, “I am going to die soon so you can have him.” I instantly
gave him the name Pancho el Equeleto and sat him in a lovely antique chair in
the corner of our dining room. Pancho holds court for all our meals.
Since I lived in Mexico for many
years death (and particularly since I am 72) is in my thoughts every day.
Mexicans know about death, they face it and rarely use euphemisms when talking
about it. I would say that Abraham Jedidiah Rogatnick was an honourary Mexican.
Few, I believe would
be comfortable listening to me read Ambrose Bierce’s Parker Adderson
Philosopher by his bedside. He died four days later. We discussed the idea that
even if we knew death were coming we would never be prepared if it came
suddenly and in the present (the theme of Bierce’s story). We decided that if
someone were to press a gun to our temple, only then would we know if we would
face death with equanimity.
At the dinner table on
Saturdays (Pancho presiding) when Hilary and our younger granddaughter Lauren,
12, are at the table I often mention my soon to depart on that one way voyage.
Rosemary objects and Hilary says I should not be talking like that in front of
Lauren.
Lauren looks at me impassively
and either suspects I am joking but won’t tell or she considers it all quite
normal. I like that in her. This is why I like this Fuji Instant print so much.
This is the perfect Lauren expression similar to her sister Rebecca’s. From
early age they know I don’t ever ask them to smile for my camera. I like these
unsettling expressions.
When Lauren was a
little girl she was a fussy eater and she would tell us at the table, “Don’t
see me!”
Lauren now sits on the
other side of the table and stares at me much like in this picture. As a joke I
tell her, “Don’t see me!”
Exhalar el
fantasma
es tarea de
vivos
beber en
los ojos
los
recuerdos
es oficio de muertos
Homero
Aridjis – Los Poemas del Doble
