A THOUSAND WORDS - Alex Waterhouse-Hayward's blog on pictures, plants, politics and whatever else is on his mind.




 

Vuelvo Al Sur
Monday, October 14, 2013

Portrait d'Ira (1933) Tamara de Lempicka


I would hasten to assert that the ultimate human nostalgia may happen if one dies in bed. While staring at the ceiling waiting for death’s scythe to fall, one’s life (that part that can still be remembered) is one big chunk of nostalgia.

This nostalgia would be the purest and the finest as one would not have a way of revisiting it in person by going to places or seeing people, still alive, in one’s memory. There would be no letdowns, no disappointments or misconceptions of good times that may have been rosier in time now but not so in past reality.

As I lay with my heart pumping much too quickly for comfort in my bed at a Courtesy Inn near the Toronto Airport on October 13 any nostalgia, anything from my past was of no consequence. The only thing important was to survive the hour and day to at long last see my wife and two cats in my home in Vancouver.

My three-week trip to Buenos Aires was one of tying up loose ends and coming to the perhaps drastic resolve that I will not be going back.

I remember that when I first left Argentina when I was a boy that I asked my mother to take me to a toy store that specialized in intricate lead soldiers. I wanted to buy a couple of San Martín’s lovely equestrian soldiers, los Granaderos de San Martín. I did and whatever happened to them is no longer in my memory.


This time around, and before I left Buenos Aires I made sure to visit San Martín’s elaborate tomb inside the Metropolitan Cathedral. Two Granaderos, in beautiful Napoleonic uniforms, are in constant watch over his remains. I took pictures of them knowing they would not speak or even make me aware that they were noticing me.

I need not ever return to know that those two or their almost identical replacements will stand guard over a nostalgia of mine, of experiences that cannot be re-lived in the exact same way as my remembrances of them in my cluttered mind.

I can listen to Piazzolla playing Milonga del Angel and no matter how many times I do it cannot bring back Susana from the grave even though I remember her gently placing her hand on mine as Piazzola began the beautiful song at the Teatro Florida sometime in 1967.

Returning to Buenos Aires brought the reality that my city had changed and I could almost not recognize it in spite of the landmarks looking mostly unchanged. The city seemed bigger.

Living for three weeks with Nora Patrich and her partner the sweet Roberto Baschetti had me taking a rail line I had never taken before. This was the Ferrocarril General San Martín. I boarded the train at Bella Vista and took it 12 stations and 50 minutes later to the downtown station at Retiro. The end station was not the cavernous and beautiful Victorian station of the Mitre Line or the smaller but still beautiful one of the Manuel Belgrano Line. It was a metal roofed shack. On my first trip in the San Martín train I came to understand that the Buenos Aires of my youth followed the edge of the city that lies by the River Plate, like a long shoestring and that the shoestring was the Mitre Line. It was a thin realm of reality.  My nostalgic Buenos Aires was now modified by knowledge of a city I had never experienced. My view had been a privileged one in which I rarely ever saw poverty or masses of cabecitas negras (little dark heads), as the Argentine well-to-dos call those with aboriginal blood. My Buenos Aires had been one that included afternoon tea and scones..

Finally at age 71 the new reality, a huge sprawling Buenos Aires supplanted a romance all but gone.

But now I know that nostalgia is what you feel of a place when you are not in it or of it (and it can be awfully rosy) and that the reality of the place seen now destroys and supplants that nostalgia of old. I do not feel any sadness as long as I remember that every moment of my present existence, my now, will someday be the nostalgic when of those I love. They may not notice now that when they visit Rosemary and me at home, that these moments will someday pass to be their nostalgia.

My present will rapidly become their future rosy past. And I will not mind when the scythe falls. 


Vuelvo al Sur
Lyrics by Fernando “Pino” Solanas
Music by Astor Piazzolla
Defintive version sung by Roberto Goyeneche

Llevo el Sur,
como un destino del corazon,
soy del Sur,
como los aires del bandoneon.

Sueño el Sur,
inmensa luna, cielo al reves,
busco el Sur,
el tiempo abierto, y su despues.

Quiero al Sur,
su buena gente, su dignidad,
siento el Sur,
como tu cuerpo en la intimidad.

Te quiero Sur,
Sur, te quiero.

Vuelvo al Sur,
como se vuelve siempre al amor,
vuelvo a vos,
con mi deseo, con mi temor.

Quiero al Sur,
su buena gente, su dignidad,
siento el Sur,
como tu cuerpo en la intimidad.
Vuelvo al Sur,
llevo el Sur,
te quiero Sur,
te quiero Sur...

I am returning to the South

I am returning to the South,
the way love always returns,
I am returning to you,
with my own wish, with my own fear.

I carry the South,
like a destiny of the heart,
I am the South,
like the airs of the bandoneon (instrument).

I dream the South,
immense moon, heaven on earth,
I am searching for the South,
the open time, and everything after.

I love the South,
its good people, its dignity,
I feel the South,
like your body during intimate moments.

I love you South,
South, I love you.

I am returning to the South,
the way love always returns,
I am returning to you,
with my own wish, with my own fear.

I love the South,
its good people, its dignity,
I feel the South,
like your body during intimate moments.
I am returning to the South,
I carry the South,
I love you South,
I love you South...





     

Previous Posts
La Noche Boca Arriba

Inesita & Liberty

Fundación Mítica De Buenos Aires

Doña Petrona

Roberto Baschetti - Sociólogo, Investigador Histór...

As Invisible As Claude Rains

Eva Perón El Mito - Eva Perón The Myth

Canadian Breakfast Tea With The First Cousins

Tres Hermanas Argentinas Y El Papá

Embates y Oscilaciones



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8/2/15 - 8/9/15

8/9/15 - 8/16/15

8/16/15 - 8/23/15

8/23/15 - 8/30/15

8/30/15 - 9/6/15

9/6/15 - 9/13/15

9/13/15 - 9/20/15

9/20/15 - 9/27/15

9/27/15 - 10/4/15

10/4/15 - 10/11/15

10/18/15 - 10/25/15

10/25/15 - 11/1/15

11/1/15 - 11/8/15

11/8/15 - 11/15/15

11/15/15 - 11/22/15

11/22/15 - 11/29/15

11/29/15 - 12/6/15

12/6/15 - 12/13/15

12/13/15 - 12/20/15

12/20/15 - 12/27/15

12/27/15 - 1/3/16

1/3/16 - 1/10/16

1/10/16 - 1/17/16

1/31/16 - 2/7/16

2/7/16 - 2/14/16

2/14/16 - 2/21/16

2/21/16 - 2/28/16

2/28/16 - 3/6/16

3/6/16 - 3/13/16

3/13/16 - 3/20/16

3/20/16 - 3/27/16

3/27/16 - 4/3/16

4/3/16 - 4/10/16

4/10/16 - 4/17/16

4/17/16 - 4/24/16

4/24/16 - 5/1/16

5/1/16 - 5/8/16

5/8/16 - 5/15/16

5/15/16 - 5/22/16

5/22/16 - 5/29/16

5/29/16 - 6/5/16

6/5/16 - 6/12/16

6/12/16 - 6/19/16

6/19/16 - 6/26/16

6/26/16 - 7/3/16

7/3/16 - 7/10/16

7/10/16 - 7/17/16

7/17/16 - 7/24/16

7/24/16 - 7/31/16

7/31/16 - 8/7/16

8/7/16 - 8/14/16

8/14/16 - 8/21/16

8/21/16 - 8/28/16

8/28/16 - 9/4/16

9/4/16 - 9/11/16

9/11/16 - 9/18/16

9/18/16 - 9/25/16

9/25/16 - 10/2/16

10/2/16 - 10/9/16

10/9/16 - 10/16/16

10/16/16 - 10/23/16

10/23/16 - 10/30/16

10/30/16 - 11/6/16

11/6/16 - 11/13/16

11/13/16 - 11/20/16

11/20/16 - 11/27/16

11/27/16 - 12/4/16

12/4/16 - 12/11/16

12/11/16 - 12/18/16

12/18/16 - 12/25/16

12/25/16 - 1/1/17

1/1/17 - 1/8/17

1/8/17 - 1/15/17

1/15/17 - 1/22/17

1/22/17 - 1/29/17

1/29/17 - 2/5/17

2/5/17 - 2/12/17

2/12/17 - 2/19/17

2/19/17 - 2/26/17

2/26/17 - 3/5/17

3/5/17 - 3/12/17

3/12/17 - 3/19/17

3/19/17 - 3/26/17

3/26/17 - 4/2/17

4/2/17 - 4/9/17

4/9/17 - 4/16/17

4/16/17 - 4/23/17

4/23/17 - 4/30/17

4/30/17 - 5/7/17

5/7/17 - 5/14/17

5/14/17 - 5/21/17

5/21/17 - 5/28/17

5/28/17 - 6/4/17

6/4/17 - 6/11/17

6/11/17 - 6/18/17

6/18/17 - 6/25/17

6/25/17 - 7/2/17