¡La Concha De La Lora!Saturday, June 22, 2013
|Morgue - Vancouver General Hospital|
That word is closely followed by another that I once fluttered (as a test) into my introduction in a nude photography class. One of my students, a male bouncer at a Whistler night club, stormed out never to return. He was offended by my use of the word scrotum. But we will leave that word for another day as we are now returning to a full-frontal exploration of the other word and its particular usage in Spanish.
Few insults can safely travel from one language to another. We all know that the word year in Spanish is año and that the middle letter, called an eñe has its special place in the Spanish alphabet right after the letter n. Using the letter n to write year in Spanish renders that to a word that my Spanish-born grandmother would call “that eye that cannot see”. She was full of these pleasant euphemisms for terrible words. The rear end in Spanish was that place where a beautiful woman’s back loses its name.” She sometimes called the posterior “the ugly face” or cara fea. Medical complications in the nether parts of a woman she called “problemas en los paises bajos” alluding to the lower countries or Flanders where the Spaniards squandered in a long war all their Mexican and Peruvian gold and silver.
In Spanish if you were to call a someone a year without the curlicue ñ the person would be confused and perhaps amused. Calling someone by that part of one’s posterior is simply not an insult.
The word damn in Spanish has no insulting translation. The most terrible and satisfying insult if you happen to hit a finger with a hammer is, “Me cago en Dios,” or I defecate on God. Spaniards at one time were very Roman Catholic so this was and is still the ultimate insult.
Thanks to Linnaeus comparing the sexual parts of a clam to a female of our species, clam as my grandmother would say “that which a woman has that a man does not,” means the same thing as the four letter word that begins with a c except that it is cunt-lite. It does not offend nor could you ever think of calling a woman, “You clam!”
But in Argentina concha, that which a woman has that a man does not, is used frequently as the ultimate insult but always with the idea that you the man are going to defecate not on God but on your enemy’s sister’s clam. “La concha de tu hermana,” is the Argentine insult per excellence, followed by another almost equivalent to “damn!” which you use in amazement or wonder. The expression is “la concha de la lora,” or the parakeet’s you-know-what. Many strict anatomists would argue (rightly) that parakeets may not have such a device as all is combined in one orifice. I would not advise you in pointing this out when an Argentine utters that nasty epithet.
Let’s return to the Spanish coño which is almost exclusively used by Spaniards. It is used when one gets angry at one self never at another. Thus my explanation to my rosarian friend that coño was not exactly you-know-what may have gone over her head or she simply was angry for having used that four letter word in English.
here and the other a novel of intrigue set in Venice called La Tempestad.
But he ruffled a few literary critics’ feathers with a book of essays all about coños, called Coños. The chapters are short essays on the nether parts of his girlfriend, bathers, mummies (as in Egyptian ones) widows, prostitutes and so on. Each chapter’s first letter is a ribald one. I will translate one essay the one called Coños en la morgue. You can guess what that translates to. And it should not offend too much considering that our very own Barbara Gowdy wrote We So Seldom Look On Love and which inspired Lynn Stopkewich’s Kissed about a girl who grows up to be a woman who is unable to have satisfying sex except with dead males on an embalming table.
L 'Origine du Monde
Cojones and butterflies