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| My grandmother María de los Dolores Reyes de Irureta Goyena - 1950 Buenos Aires |
December 9,
2020 was a fatalistic date in my life. That is when my wife Rosemary with whom
I had been married for 52 years died. Six minutes before she died she asked, “Am
I dying?” I was unable to respond. In some ways once she died my family of two
daughters and two granddaughters somehow fractured.
My eldest
granddaughter whom Rosemary and I took around the world I see only twice a year
(once at Christmas). She does not answer my phone calls or my texts. The
younger sister Lauren I see rarely. I am not a grandfather, but an old man.
My youngest
daughter told me she does not read my blog (6959 to date) because she does not
want to become addicted to her phone. My other daughter, Alexandra lives in
remote Lillooet and I may see her about five times a year.
Last night I
did a Powerpoint presentation that was autobiographical on how I got into
photography at Cineworks. My youngest daughter, who would have been my only
family to attend was very busy at her job and told me that she had no makeup or
proper clothing to attend. I had given her money for Euber.
The
presentation went well but I was melancholic knowing that today I would be
faced with emptiness after the fact. Neither of my daughters called to find out
how my presentation had been received.
It is here
that I want to point out how close I was to my maternal grandmother. She told
me all kinds of advice related to the Don Quijote and Spanish refrains she
learned when she was educated in Valencia. The one comment of hers that applies to me at my age of 83 is “un cero
a la izquierda”. That translates to “a zero to the left”. I will explain that
in this way”
0.1, 00.1,
000.1 are all the same. After that initial zero the rest are not necessary.
In short I
feel that I am a cero a la izquierda. With only slight humour I tell people
that I will soon compose a country and western song called Obsolete-
Redundant-Retired and Inconsequential. With the money I have in the bank, my
life insurance and my all-paid Kits home I will be most useful to my family
when I am dead.
And so it
goes.