Alex Waterhouse-Hayward: My iPhone 3G At Neverland Burlesque

Scarlet Delirium's excellent fan dance

In the 70s and 80 I went to alternative scene/punk rock concerts with much frequency. My two daughters stopped asking me where I was going when I put on black jeans, a black T-shirt (The Subhumans, D.O.A., Young Canadians, etc) and slipped into my big john boots with steel toes. I also wore a black leather jacket that few knew I had purchased at Sears. The only jarring element was my then pipe which I would puff while taking pictures of the concerts.

Design by Jim Cummins

Arriving home at around two in the morning Rosemary would not complain that I reeked of smoke. Since I didn’t drink, at least I was sober.

But once the 90s arrived I retired my black T-shirt collection. The Big John boots are long gone and the Sears leather jacket, much too small now, might just fit Rebecca.

You can imagine exactly how I felt when the folks of the Blood Alley Quartet (Randy Bowman, drums, Dave Olajide, bass, Gus Vassos, vocals, guitar, Anthony Walker, vocals, guitar) and Goldie Monroe , their statuesque over 6ft vocalist and burlesque dancer invited me to attend their third (every third Saturday of the month) Neverland Burlesque show last night.

From left, Randy Bowman (drums) Dave Olajide (bass),
Gus Vassos (vocals, guitar)
Anthony Walker (vocals, guitar) Goldie Monroe (vocals,burlesque dancer)
Not taken with iPhone but with Mamiya RB-67 Pro SD

At first I thought I might be saved by the excuse of going to Lillooet to visit my daughter. That did not happen so I resigned myself to sitting at a cabaret style table with young folks I did not know at the venerable Russian Hall on 4th Avenue. Since I don’t drink it would make the evening even more unbearably boring.

That was not to be. When I got there I immediately saw the Mafioso looking (as soon as he smiles you know his look is all show) Gus Vassos and asked him if I could stay backstage.

Malcolm Parry often talks about the privileged position. By this he means to be somewhere where most people are not allowed to be. Anybody can attend a burlesque show. The privileged position is at the dressing room which is exactly where I immediately found myself in. The women were friendly and I felt undressed without my cameras. But I had brought my iPhone 3G. I used it all night until, with care, and even then I ran out of battery power around the end.

Mz. Adriene

The burlesque dancers were good and Mz. Adriene, a multitalented master/mistress of ceremonies handled the always rowdy audiences that congregate at burlesque shows with aplomb and class. Her off-color jokes were almost elegant. The funniest moment of the evening happened when Adriene dubbed the hapless sound man who had many technical problems with the most inelegant epithet of Mr. Testicles.

The show entertained me and that would have been that.

What I should have known is that any band with four pro musicians featuring Tony Baloney (he might be known by Revenue Canada as Anthony Walker) would give me a chance to feel young again. I listened to great rock and roll. Vassos and Mr. Baloney provided vocals and guitar while Randy Bowman on drums and Dave Olajide provided steady bass and rhythm that had riffs that reminded me of Lou Reed’s Sweet Jane. If that was not enough while The Velvet Underground might have had Nico, this Blood Alley Quartet has Goldie Monroe who can sing. If she couldn’t it would not make much difference as she is tall, really tall, and well shaped where it counts.

The band played three original songs (all very solid) and two more where they accompanied Monroe who sang and did her burlesque show. My only regret is that she did not wear those old fashioned stockings with seams. As we Argentines used to say about these stockings, “You follow the seam from the bottom of the high heel shoe all the way up until the leg becomes something else.” With Monroe that would be one sweet and long journey.

Tony Baloney

I will not apologize for the secondary quality of my iPhone pictures. I think they have some charm.

Come October 20 (the third Saturday of the month) I will be exercising my Mac Parry privilege position. I will be back stage with the girls and the boys, and, of course with Tony Baloney.